A bit confused XH here - maintenance

[DuchieFeelie]

Hi all,
Need to talk to XW I guess, but before I do, thought I'd seek out opinions...

DC's are 19, 17 and 13 and I pay maintenance of around 1000 euros a month (all in full time education and I'm not complaining). But recently youngest ha s been saying that his mum will not allow him to have an IPhone (separate debate, I know), because she can't afford to, as she is paying for older DC's... But surely I'm paying for all 3 to have the same/equal "opportunities"?

Thoughts?

I suggest you start your thread again under the correct topic. This one is for product test feedback.
Try dadsnet, divorce, money or relationship topics as you'll get the right 'traffic'.
For what it's worth it sounds to me like you are being manipulated by a greedy 13 year old. Tell him to get a weekend job.

Er, would you whine if she refused to give him beer money, too? As you pay for them all to have the same opportunities and all.

Thanks! and no idea how I ended up under this topic!!

Are you serious?

no, you are paying for your share of their food, heat, roof over their head, holidays, clothing, personal expenses etc etc. Not for iphones.

If you want him to have an iphone, you can always get him one.

How old were the other two when they got one? 13? or how old? Is he responsible enough for one?

My youngest complains that he hasn't got a mobile.

When he reaches the age my eldest was when he got his, I'll get him one.

My thoughts are you should discuss it with your ex wife.

Yes, I am Alba - why wouldn't I be? I trust ex-W to be fair, but she does seem to favour the older ones? I don't question how she spends the maintenance, but it does seem that she favours the older ones, which is unfair...

What did she get them at aged 13 that she is not allowing him to have now he is 13?

You pay towards the upbringing of your dc. the money is to house, feed and clothe primarily, you don't get to dictate how it's distributed. There is no reason a 13yo needs an iPhone which is not an opportunity in any case.

There is no reason for a 13 year old to have an iPhone whether his older siblings have one or not.

Being fair to your children does not mean treating them all the same. Children of different ages have different needs.

Did your older children have flash mobile phones at 13? Treating them equally may mean treating them the same at a certain age, rather than all the same at the same moment.

Basically what the others have said. What age did the eldest two get a phone? What was the model of their first phone?

Maintenance is primarily for the essentials of bringing up children. An Iphone is not an essential.

Thanks for all your replies - it seems I'm the one being overly-sensitive - Mods can I combine this into the other thread as this is quite clearly not a product test! But I'm interested in the responses just the same...

Report your original post and request the thread to be moved.