How could a solicitor help?

[merrilywego]

I've recently separated from my H who's moved out. We have one DC aged 3. We are amicable in front of our child but communication about anything tricky like money is proving very difficult as he refuses to sit down and talk about anything sensibly. I feel as if we're not progressing anything towards sorting stuff out like deciding on the financials.

So, I'm thinking of going to see a solicitor in the hope that I can get some firm answers. I've already had two free half hour sessions but am willing to pay for legal advice to get more detailed answers.

My question is: can a solicitor advise on a likely financial split? My ex-H earns around 3 times as much as I do, but is self employed and could well obscure his earnings. I will be the main resident parent. There are no other assets apart from our house, which has quite a lot of equity and I want to secure a good deal for myself and our child.

How much could a solicitor help with this? Realistically if my ex refuses to play ball financially, what can I do? I can't force him to go to mediation which I would be willing to do, but he's not.

Bit confused as to where to start with it all really.

Thanks.

[ClaireRalph]

There are two ways the financials are sorted out - either through agreement with your ex, via mediation if necessary. The second option, if you really can't agree is to apply to court to decide the split.

For the court to get involved I think you need to at least within grasping distance of decree nisci i.e. you must be actively divorcing.

Get a good solicitor to give you advice about what you should be arguing for on your own behalf and that of your son's.

If you will be the resident parent then the court will prioritise the needs of you both (2 bed house etc) first, before considering other factors (length of marriage, his needs, contributions you have both made over the years etc).

I am in a similar position and am finding it frustrating how LITTLE guidance my sol is able to give me - he keeps saying 'until we know what your husband's position is it is difficult to know what our arguments will be'

It seems to me that the way to break the circle is to apply for a divorce, and that forces mediation and gets the ball rolling.

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