We have 2 kids (DS 10 and DD 8) and have been talking about separating for 9 months - after years of unhappiness - but DH cannot accept it. He was going to move out when he thought it would "give me space" (to change my mind) - and even looked at a few places to rent - but now he has changed his mind and refuses to go. I am the primary carer, work 2.5 days per week and collect kids from school 4 days per week, we 3 spend far more time here than he does. I also earn 1/2 of what he does (ie 1/4 at the mo as i am part time) so IMO it makes sense for him to continue to be full time etc; as was always the arrangement. He thinks I should leave as I am "the person ending the relationship", and he has done all the DIY on the house. He is also worried about "losing" the kids, though I have tried to reassure him that it would just mean him seeing less of them, (as would I) - not losing them. He has given me 2 options: 1. we stay as we are, both living here (currently unbearable IMO) or 2. I get a flat (the only childcare idea he's given me at the moment is that he gets an au pair!). He says he will NEVER go. If I try and move out with the kids that will be v traumatic for them and TBH I think he'd try to stop me. Any advice please?
p.s. there is no one else involved.