Quickest marriage ever?

[a1s2a1s2]

I've just found out that my husband started an affair a mere 2 months after we got married. He's been emailing and seeing this person behind my back for the past 5 months, and when I confronted him with my suspicions he laughed it off/accused me of having trust issues. Finally saw irrefutable evidence - an email between them (while we were on holiday) about how they can't stop thinking about each other. When I confronted him yesterday, he said that they're poss in love/he can't promise never to do it again/wants more time.

He won't consider counseling and has said that we are broken because of 'our' trust issue - but I've done nothing wrong! He has broken our relationship from the start, knowing full well what he was getting into. This is not a new pattern - every time things get difficult he just changes jobs/relationships/moves cities. The only person who stays a constant is his mum - they talk every time we fight and she tells him to leave me.

I've given up my job and moved to a new country to be with him. I'm so angry and I don't know where to start. Hopping on a plane tomorrow to see my family and go from there.

I know I'll be OK but I'm just so cross - I've been taken for a ride.

any trust issue has been caused by him. I am glad you are not blaming yourself. Perhaps counselling has helped couples who have been through this, but from my view and from what you've said about him, it just won't help and will drag out this mess.

I am so angry for you that you have given up so much for him. Have a nice long break with your family and tbh I think it's best you stay there. He doesn't deserve you and he can openly admit that it could possibly happen again. Don't set yourself up for more pain.

Sending you some cyber girl power! Start looking forward to a life without that asshole! It will be a lot better!

Thanks Jess3692 - that means a lot! I feel better and better talking to friends and family and hearing from the kind people of Mumsnet like you is such a great support!

He's just said that he wants to talk but wants me to come home to where he is. I'm staying with a friend and planning my next moves but he won't come to me or even meet me halfway. All on his terms. As usual.

I'm with Jess on this. He has been dishonest from the start and any trust issues like completely with him.
Take the time away to decided what you want to do, and how you want to go about it.
I'm sure that whatever you decide, there will be plenty of people here to support you and provide advice.

When you say you "saw an email" - does that mean you investigated his email without his knowledge? And if so, is this the trust issue he's referring to?

If so, he's got a point I guess - though from what you've said, it does seem that he's behaved very badly indeed, so he'd be clutching at the email thing in a desperate attempt to deflect attention from his own wrongdoing.

All the best, sounds as if you're having a horrible time