Separating with a 2.5yr old. Any advice?

[OiMissus]

Background: DH are separating. There is no horridness, there have been no arguments. But we've grown apart and this leads to tension. We both have DS's best interests at heart.
DH may finalise a new apartment today and if so, may move out at weekend. DS will stay with me in our home, and will go to the new home for a couple of nights each week when it's ready.
DS is a mummy's boy, but is used to spending a few evenings alone with DH as I often travel away with work. So in theory, a couple of nights each week just with DH should not be difficult for him to adjust to.
So, how do we tell DS? (2.5yrs, intelligent, "switched on", normally very happy, secure)
The plan is to introduce the idea to him this week. Tell him that DH is going to live in a new house, that he can visit too. New toys, new big boy bed, etc.,... (probably get a silly racing car bed or something to help with excitement/positivity).
On Friday DS and I will go to the GPs caravan with them (this is not out of the ordinary, we do this often, he adores the GPs). DH won't come. DH will move out.
On Sunday, we'll go home and visit DH in his new apartment - maybe we'll take some food there, so we can all eat together. Perhaps go out all together and buy some new toys for his new other home.
We've bought a couple of story books for DS about having two homes. that are simple and easy to understand.
Has anyone experience? Can you give any advice?

My DS was 3.5 when we split up and we did exactly as you're planning - focused purely on the practicalities of who was going to live where, that he would go to visit dad, etc. I just told him on my own - no big 'sit down now for major news' thing. It went better than I could possibly have hoped. DS wasn't upset at all and just asked lots of questions about which toys would live at his dad's. At that age he didn't see it as something that was wrong in any sense - just like a kind of house move. Tbf I don't think he really understood that we had split up for several years.

I think your plan sounds good. Good luck

Thanks.
It's great to hear that we won't necessarily damage him for the rest of his life!

(Posting to push to "Active" for any more advice/experience).

I'll echo above. I had been with my ex-P for 10 years and DD was 2.3 when I asked him to leave.

Don't think DD really noticed for the first week. I pretty much did everything anyway and life carried on as normal. When she did ask I just told her that Daddy was staying at Grandma's house and he'll be coming to see her soon.

He comes every other weekend ad stays in our house for 2 nights (not ideal for me but he lives at the other end of the country now and it's practical). When he is here we do quite a bit together, although I am considering asking him to take DD out on her own all day on at least one of the weekend days. But she sees us being friendly (it's an amicable split) and in some ways it's just normal for her, like weekends were before we split.

She knows Daddy lives somewhere else but I don't think she has any idea that that's not normal or anythings wrong IYSWIM.

I think if you can get along enough and be friendly, cooperative and amicable then it shouldn't have any negative effect at all. Just try and keep your DSs routine the same for as long as you can. Lots of time spent wit him but not OTT to compensate so it is a change in normality.

Hope all goes well....My life is so much happier. And so is DD. It's hasn't been easy. But I have done the right thing. For her and for me and she/I still have a good relationship with her Dad.

Thanks.
We're 4 days in. DH moved out on Sunday. At the moment DS hasn't really noticed.
He's staying at his dad's for the first time tonight. Fx it goes well.

My DS didn't really understand his dad didn't live with us any more for quite a while. He would say things like "I'll show dad my new XX when he gets home" and I would say "yes you can show him on Saturday when he comes round next" and he gradually got the hang of things.

How are YOU doing Oi?

Big change I'm sure. Although I instigated everything and was done withy ex's binge drinking, EA, constant job losses, not going out for the fear he might drink too much, covering for him, feeling sorry for him, looking after him... I still cried.

I hated that it couldn't be different. That HE couldn't be different. But that's the point I think. He CANT be different. 10 years of wanting, hoping it will change. That one day he'll just get it. But he didn't and to be honest, even now, even after all this, he is still binge drinking. Still no job. And only this week, 6 months after I asked him to leave, did I really realise that we won't get back together. Ever. Because I don't think he'll change. I don't believe he can. And IF he does, then I fear it is all too late. I, ME, have changed. And DD and I make a great little team. We do what we want, when we want, don't live in a state of anxiety waiting for the next binge/let down. We're happy. And looking forward to a positive, happy future!

Sending big un-MN hugs. And a glass of wine (because you can have ONE and not worry about the half bottle hanging around the house