Hi there, this is my first post and although I'm not expecting any of you to be able to save my marriage, and in all honesty, don't feel the need to read it, I just need to write this down and get it out in the open as such as I have no-one I can talk to.
I have been with my husband for 14 years, married for 7 and have DS 4 and DD 2.
Things haven't been great between us for a few years in all honesty and for about the past year, on and off, I think about leaving. Things can be good one week then crap for a month. We just came back from holiday yesterday (first holiday abroad since the kids came along) and although there was a lot of bickering, we did have a good time. Tonight, he'd had a drink with a family member then I was told I had to drive said family member home (this is the third time this has happened). I done it (20 mile round trip) then when I got home tried to say to him that next time, he could maybe ask me if it was ok rather than just expect that I'll do it and that maybe a thank you wouldn't have gone a miss. I was very calm while saying this and he started ranting that it wasn't a big deal and I should do it for him as I do nothing else at all. Now this got me wound right up - my husband does not wash/dry/iron a single piece of clothing, doesn't cook a meal, do the shopping, lift a plate once he's finished with it, hoover - literally nothing in the house at all. He works away 2 weeks at a time then works when he's at home too (his choice - not a financial need) and he thinks as he earns the money, I should be a dutiful housewife and not complain! I was working part time up until recently when I had to cut my contract to a bare minimum due to hubbys work commitments. He wants me to give up work completely but I absolutely refuse to have to be totally reliant on him financially.
Anyway, the argument went on and on but due to him having a drink, it was completely twisted. When he gets like this, he completely belittles me, I do nothing right, I'm a crap wife, sex is crap, I'm pathetic etc, etc. Basically, it got round to getting a divorce - as long as I move out. I asked if he loved me and he shook his head and said 'Why, do you love me?' Well actually, I do, although most of the time I wish I didn't! I've tried to speak to him and he's just laughed in my face calling me more names.
I know folk might think it's just the drink, but it's not, he can easily be like this when sober.
I just don't know what to do. I can't afford to move out and start up on my own, and he knows this. What hurts me the most though is hurting my children. They absolutely adore their Dad and I think my DS would take it extremely hard. He is a total Daddy's boy and it would devastate him for him to live away from his Dad. I don't want this for my children but I don't know how much longer I can be miserable for. I hate my life so much just now :(