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Changing name after divorce

22 replies

RollerCola · 26/03/2014 08:16

Can anyone give me some advice about changing names? Ive been married for 17 years and am just waiting for my divorce to come through.

At first I wasn't going to change my name because I actually prefer my married surname to my maiden one but now I'm unsure what to do.

I don't think I want to use my maiden name by itself, as I don't want to be different to the children (they will stay the same)

But I don't really like double-barrelled either, but not sure why! Not sure what to do. Any thoughts?

OP posts:
DaisiesDandelions · 26/03/2014 13:22

I intend to keep my married surname as I prefer it and it is the same as my children's name. Whether to keep the 'Mrs' or not tho?!

Alchemist · 26/03/2014 13:24

I've kept (so far) the married name but use Ms.

cleoismycat · 26/03/2014 13:27

I'm changing back. My DD will always have his name but I want to start again. I know other mums and children with different surnames as they are not married but together and doesnt bother the children or the parents. And I am pretty sure IO will NEVER marry again.

cleoismycat · 26/03/2014 13:28

And I'm going back to Miss!!

Sidge · 26/03/2014 13:29

I kept my married name - it's the same as my children's and after all it had been MY name for 15 years too.

I hadn't used my maiden name for so long it didn't feel like my name any more.

I try and use Ms rather than Mrs though; I haven't changed it on accounts and things but will change it when it naturally needs to be changed, such as renewals etc.

Sleepinmummy · 26/03/2014 22:35

I'm going back to my maiden name - I wasn't married very long and was reluctant to change it in the first place.

Blueuggboots · 26/03/2014 23:08

I've thought long and hard about this one....I HATED my maiden name with a passion (had a "four letter word" in it and was very embarrassing!) so was happy to change it.
I have a DS with my married name and decided I'm going to keep it, and the mrs! Just because I think my STBXH is a complete twunt doesn't mean I have to get rid of the name. Just my opinion and I know others will feel different.
Even my new partner has said for me to keep it, even if we get married!

RollerCola · 26/03/2014 23:35

Thanks everyone, I think I'm going to keep the married name but just be Ms instead of Mrs if that's needed.

OP posts:
Handywoman · 27/03/2014 15:39

Am going back to maiden name. I figure being married for 15yrs in the grand scheme of things isn't hugely long. I want to cut as many ties/associations as poss!!

Beccawoo · 28/03/2014 07:56

Kept my married name (two kids under 5 with same name) but changed to Ms. Also like how much it must wind exh up, ha ha, esp if he decides to marry OW and create another Mrs X lol! Would change to dps name if I was to marry again though.

toddlerbed · 28/03/2014 14:18

I wanted to be rid of his name and will be when we settle finances. My kids have his name. I'm not bothered about the difference.

DotCottonsHairnet · 29/03/2014 09:28

Am planning on going back to maiden name when my divorce comes through in a few months time.

Worst bit for me - having to change all the bills, bank stuff etc into new name and learn a new signature!!!

My kids are teeangers and happy about having a,different surname than me - if they'd objected I wouldn't have considered it.

Thislife · 05/04/2014 19:41

A name is so much part of your identity. I could never have kept ex's name after we split up. It was important that I went back to being me.

Meatfeastpizza · 06/04/2014 15:06

After divorce can you just revert to your maiden name or do you need a deed poll?

MuttonCadet · 06/04/2014 15:16

To legalise it I think it has to be by deed pole.

MuttonCadet · 06/04/2014 15:16

poll Blush

catsrus · 06/04/2014 15:21

Nonsense - you just use the name you want to - no need for deed poll. One of my friends was miss smith married name mrs brown - after divorce she called her self Ms Smith Brown for about 18 months - two yrs, then she just dropped the Brown part. It seemed like a daft idea at the time but actually worked really well as a transition with schools etc.

catsrus · 06/04/2014 15:23
MuttonCadet · 06/04/2014 15:29

So, yes, if you want to change it on legal documents you need to change by deed poll.

Meatfeastpizza · 06/04/2014 15:38

I might just crack on and change mine back to my maiden name now then, before I file for divorce. The kids have his name which is fine, that's who they are, but it's not who I am, and I want rid of it. Mind, I'm not keen on my maiden name either, maybe I will chose a nice new name.

catsrus · 06/04/2014 15:41

No it's legal even without the deep poll - just that some organisations insist on DP. This gives a bit more info

And I know all this because 30 yrs ago I made the decision not to change mine s looked into all the legal stuff around names. You can also give your dcs whatever lastname you want, even if it's not either parents!

MuttonCadet · 06/04/2014 15:41

You can pick almost any name you want - quite liberating really!

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