separation- who has custody of the kids? long possibly rambling

[togoornottogo]

Our relationship is in tatters. Mainly my fault. I have had problems with drinking and lying. He has a temper and has been arrested for DV. (me not the kids)
For the last 10 months we have had SS involved and have got our main problems sorted out but as a couple we are finished.
what do we do now? DH has been off work for the last few months and so has been a SAHD doing the school run and generally running the house. He doesnt want to get another job so will stay as a SAHD for the next year or so.
I am working and he says that if we do split up I will need to move out as he will be looking after them and pay for him and the girls. I dont want to lose my girls but as I am working I cant do school and work!. He also says that if he leaves he'll just walk away and not come back!

what the hell do we do? who should look after them? we're going the fuck them up either way. if it has to go to court who would the judge choose?

You really need specialist legal advice. As he is non working sahd, I think you are in a really precarious position...you could see yourself end up as non resident parent paying him maintenance. Do not so anything until you see a solicitor.

Togoornottogo I could have written your post, my circs are nearly identical to yours
Milly - I am in a hotel room having been told that I might not make it through the night if I remain in the house. So because my H gave up his job I will lose my children and have to pay him maintenance. What f....ed up kind of world do we live in?

There is a strong presumption that DC stay with the main caregiver and in their familiar home.

In most cases the mother is the SAHP, but in cases where it is the father the same principles apply.