Minimal contact with my children...don't seem to be able to do anything about it!

[lavendervision]

My children a with my XH. I only see them once a week and alternate WE. When they have to leave, the children cry. I miss them like mad.
And i don't seem to be able to get more contact. The court recommended that I should be given more contact, but his lawyer forgot to put it in writing and when I raised it, he said i wasn't getting it! I feel pissed off and helpless.
We should be going to mediation and XH is doing his best to delay the process as he wants to get back to court to obtain full custody of the kids.
I left the house when he hit. he claimed I was the one attacking him and got a residence order, that's why I am in this position.
I feel I can't do anything about seing my children more before going to court and I am watching the opportunities for mediation pass away in front of my eyes. Help!

why did you leave the house without your children if he was hitting you?
I don't see what your average MNer can tell you that a solicitor cannot.
How did he just 'get a residence order' - what, just like that?

There's nothing you can do until you get to court. Presumably the court are to determine who the children live with.

I have no particular advice but think this has to be dealt with through the legal system really....

Do you have a SW working with you and your family?....without knowing the full circumstances of your position it is unlikely that anyone here can really be of much help to you.....

Are you concerned about your DC's welfare if your EXh is abusive?....are your DC's safe with him?

I don't know your DC's ages but their views are very important and will have bearing on the court decision's about contact and residence, etc....

You need a solicitor in family law and probably need to speak to SS and get a SW to find out your position and how they can help too....

How much extra contact were you requesting?

You currently have the 'normal' amount a nrp would get..

Nellyjob, if someone is hitting you and you fear for your life, you are just happy to make it out of the house! He was angry against me and that is quite out of character. He is not usually a violent man nor would he be violent aginst the children.
I was requesting and extra day and night of contact. Fair?

My DCs are between 10yo and 4.
I am concerned that his motivations are mostly financial and he also has bipolar which means he has phases of depression where he is potentially unable to manage with the children. But everybody tells me there is no concern for my children as now he is not in a phase of depression.

He is a very controlling man, my son is not allowed to cry and the children are expected to think the right way...his own way... and not allowed to trust their own judgement.

He is alleging that I have attachment issues with thechildren, which is purely insane and made up, but if we go back to court I'll have to prove beyond any doubt that it is not the case! Mad! Otherwise I loose the kids, and hemight loose them too being bipolar...mad to think that this system could potentialy send children that are loved by their parents in care!

I want a fair arrangement for both of us and mostly for the children who have expressed their wish to stay with both of us equally.
I am waiting to get contacted by the court for mediation.It is not hapening. I have phoned and emailed my lawyer and nothing is happeining. I am thinking of hiring my own mediator but I don't know if I am allowed. I only have a month and a half to solve this before we are due back in court.

Did you go straight to the police, womens refuge when you left the house? I think some of us are confused as to why you left the children so long as to allow this to be the status quo? How old is the son "who is not allowed" to cry?

Worse case scenario would be the situation carries on as things are but in all likelihood you may find you're awarded 50/50 with the children being so young.