dh says he's moving back in to marital home 7 months after we split!

[aspyqueen]

I was just getting used to how well it was all panning out. but today I recive an email from him saying "I will be moving back into the marital home this weekend to be near him and stop your negative influence on ds. I feel I would be being remiss as a father if I did not step in"

OMFG!!! I can't live with him again!! My mental health and physical health were at rock bottom when he as here. I actually can't see him without feeling like screeching. He has the legal right to do this I guess, it being his house and all.....The lawyer says I can apply for a non molestation order to stop him but that' it's tough to get one.
If I move out I guess i may lose a lot as it's in his name etc and it's our son's home, so will put him in a better position re custody.
I'm screwed.
Any advice? Can I stop him? The house is in his name only altho I put in most of the money DoH! We are married. He is furious because DS is refusing to go stay with him anymore. It's because DS is scared of his temper. DS saw a child psychologist through school who said "he does not feel safe with his father and he's a very sensitive boy who needs to feel safe" (he's 6)

If your son is afraid of your ex then CAFCASS should be involved - parenting course for both of you separetly (you jump through thst hoop to demonstrate how reasonable you are), supervised access at contact centre, section 7 report. What's your lawyer doing about all that?

We only just heard from Child psychologist last week that DS is scared of DH. Have not got her written report yet. I guess it's not terrified; it's just nervous and not safe. Not that I mean to play t down but as far as a cafcass officer wil see DS isn't quaking in his boots about scary daddy, juts nervous being around him in case he gets angry.

Your son shouldn't have to be nervous in case daddy gets angry, that's the point. Have you informed your solicitor about the psychologist's opinion? How old is your son?

Cafcass are quite over stretched in many areas so may have trouble getting a full section 7 report but a wishes and feelings report should be possible to obtain fairly swiftly with a court order. Are the two of you currently in a court process wrt contact?

We have no legal proceedings yet. Juts separated in jan and wrote out own separation agreement (well he wrote it)
What's a section 7 report?
And what's a wishes and feelings report? Do they ask a 6 year old his opinion?

Sorry just noted you said 6. He shouldn't have to be afraid of his own parent. He's nervous now - if your ex moves back in then he may be worse.

I was advised by a solicitor that if he left voluntarily, you do not have to let him through the door. He's the one that has to get a court order to get back in, even if the police get involved (I had visions of ex banging on the door and him or neighbours calling the police).
Keep your doors locked as once he's in it's very hard to get him out.

OMG! He has a key, but has stayed away till now. I wonder if I'm allowed to change locks. He did leave voluntarily and has signed our agreement to say I can live there for 12 months. And that he'll live at his friends. I can't wait til the morning to talk to lawyer but my lawyer seems so busy with other cases!!

No, you can't legally change the locks.... How about you add some inside bolts for increased security after you heard those noises the other night??

Oh God, this is a nightmare.

Good idea Katherine, crime is on the up and you can never be too careful!
I lost my keys so had to get the locks changed, but didn't have XP address to send him a key. Ah well.
I know it's a cliche OP but things will seem better in the morning, I still feel sick when any random post arrives with his name on.

I would email him back "I do not think subjecting ds to arguments and tension by you moving back in is in his best interests at all. Perhaps we should try and focus on frequent short visits of ds with you to build his confidence in your relationship"

Honestly though with what has been said about him being scared I'd be seeking some help and advice fast.

Change the locks & say you "lost" the keys & will have a spare cut for him.

Then drag your feet till you've talked to your solicitor.

Info on section 7 report and wishes and feelings here

Thank you. I think changing the locks will just enrage him and he'll come in the back window and get a locksmith. He is being put off till after the weekend so am thinking today about whether to go to court tomorrow to get an occupation order to keep him out.

Just spoke to police and they said they would come and get him out f he forces his way in. They said to change the locks. I guess it may be like a squatters law. Even if it's legally your home, you're not allowed to force your way in if there's someone inside who doesn't want you in