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He is moving out

1 reply

Thetallestsunflower · 13/07/2012 11:59

I have been in an emotionally abusive marriage (mainly in the form of disgusting accusations, constant criticism, using things I say to him in moments of weakness against me at a later date and even saying things to the kids like 'mummy doesn't love you she only loves herself'.
After a particularly bad series of events on mothers day, I made the decision that I was going to get him out of my life.
As I didn't want to leave the family home it meant getting him to move out. Eventually, this week after finally getting the support from my parents, I told him he had no other option but to leave and if he didn't I would go through a solicitor detailing exactly the type of person he is.
In the end he has agreed to go on the basis that its for 3 months to work on our marriage. I had to tell him there was still hope as it was the only way I could get him to agree but I can just see no way forward at all. I don't love him anymore and can't take the risk that even if we do work things out in the short term, he won't start up with his abusive behaviour even years down the line (my kids are only 4 and 5).
The thing is once he realises this is going to be a more permenant arrangement he is going to really kick off. He won't take it lying down to say the least. As an added complication he has bipolar disorder which very easily spirals out of control leading to extreme manic rages and dangerous behaviour (another reason I can no longer go on with him is the constant fear of another bipolar episode).
I am sorry if this garbled account of my situation doesn't make much sense. I guess I am asking if anyone has any advice or words of wisdom if they have been in a similar position.
I really hope none of you will think I am devious or cruel letting him believe it isn't over just to get him out but truely my life and my kid's lives have been made a misery for years. Don't get me wrong, there have been good times (or I would of ended it long ago) but I can no longer accept the bad times.

OP posts:
NicholasTeakozy · 13/07/2012 12:20

You're doing the right thing by getting him out of the house. If he kicks off get the police involved.

Well done for getting rid.

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