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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

views on midweek contact with manipulating ex please

1 reply

nobutts · 06/07/2012 06:29

Ex has asked for a weeknight stay with DC (5) and although i've always been anti - this (consitency, school etc) I am considering it properly and think when ex has a job (unemployed atm) where he can confirm that he'll actually see DC properly on that night (not just have his GF pick DC up for school and then be back at DC bedtime) then in principle, yes we can try it. I am still a bit uncomfortable but also i think it's reasonable to ask and I really support his relationship with DC.

eX doesn't 'get' why i don;t just say YES to everything immediately and shouts at me when he doesn't get his way. He has also been discussing the change to contact (though it's not agreed and before he brought it up with me) with DC, getting DCs hopes up and setting me up to let him down. He also sees no problem in this at all and gets angry when i try to explain.
What i want to know is..how to you get exs like this to listen? does anyone have views on the impact of midweek stays? and AIBU to consider these things so much and am i giving in to ex too easily? phew! thanks for feedback.

OP posts:
Bubbless · 06/07/2012 17:26

personally, i think you need to go with your gut. you know this man, you know what hes like, you know how much he can handle before he snaps..
if you think it would do your DC good to see father midweek then fine.
if you dont think its going to work for whatever reason i think you are WELL within your rights to tell him so, then hang up if he gets arsy. he will soon realise that talking to you like that will get him no closer to midweek visits!
hope it all works out (un-MNtty hugs)

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