Husband threatening to go for full custody

[mowmi]

Hi All,

I'm hoping someone can help me? or maybe just listen.
My marriage is over, it's been coming for a while, He is aggresive, emotionally imature, bullies me to keep me in line, has spat at me, behaves like a lodger (pays me less than half of what it costs to run our lives then takes no interest in the familly finances) default setting for all things to do with our beautiful 2.5 year old is me (food, clothes, nursery arrangements, most drop offs and pick ups, most of the care at weekends).
Husband will not accept marriage is over and thinks it can be mended with a bit of care and help from others - it can't as I don't want to fix it as I refuse to be bullied and live like this anymore.
I have a solicitor already, trying to do as much as I can on my own as she is £400 per hour!
Earlier this week I made it very clear to him I wanted this over and he has now come back with 2 things 1) he will no longer contribute to the house we are all sharing at the moment - he wont go and I can't make him. 2) He will go for full custody as he has something on me so bad it will ensure they take him away from me, he has no option he will need to this to safe guard his safety and upbringing?
He is a monster and thinks he can use this to put me back in line.
I have a good job and I am good mum to our son. He sits at the absolute center of my world. I spend every moment I can with him whereas his father pretty much comes and goes as he pleases (didn't even bother with him on fathers day - he was away in a nice hotel after watching rugby all weekend)
My solicitor has told me not to worry but I am - what if he makes crap up?
I don't smack him, I like a couple of glasses of wine in the evening a few nights a week?
The man is a monster, he's also told me he will contest everthing just to cost me more money in terms of legal fees and I'm fairly sure he's lying about suspecting he has cancer again (had testicular cancer 5 years ago) just blurted out mid rant about taking our soon away...

So tired, so worried x

It's just tactics, from a bullying twunt who thinks you should put up and shut up.

Has he got anything on you really? Unless you have a major drug or alcohol problem that has drawn you to the attention of the police/social services, he is talking out of his arse.

You are primary carer to your DC and no court will give custody to such a hands off father over you, his loving and caring mother.

Getting him out will be tricky if he is on the mortgage/rent book.

Be wary about saying too much, keep your cards close to your chest. In situations like these, it's not uncommon for partners to become violent when they realise that the game is up. Been there myself a long time ago. Pulling back financially was the first thing my ex did, followed by the custody/abduction threats.

Make sure you can put your hands on essential documents- keep them outside of the home if you can. Have a place you can run to if the need arises.

And please tell friends/family in RL what is going on, you need all the support you can get to escape from this.

GOOD LUCK x

Thanks for that, I've agreed to go to relate on Sunday with him (I am trying to be reasonable) I want someone to try and keep things calm and for him to understand I can't continue - he's hoping it will put us back together!

It's a nightmare but every fibre in mu body knows I'm doing the right thing.

Posted in legal and someone came back with the Judge will find it hard to pick between both versions of the truth and that professional opinion was what carried weight - I don't have social workers etc involved with my son so how am I supposed to prove I am who my son should be with (I don't have any problem at all with him seeing his father by the way - I am trying my best to encourage whilst he is busy being free!)

x