Struggling with childcare arrangements

[happinessis]

separated for just over a year, divorce on the cards but lots of financial stuff to sort out first. Ex H currently has 2 ds's evry weekend. Recently has started offloading them to his relatives during weekend to suit his social life when I would prefer they stayed with me. Agreement was done informally, can I change it now?

also meant to say that maintenance payments worked out by the cSA were reduced because of the number of nights he has ds's but i think this was just a ploy on his part to get the payments reduced as they are not staying with him

any advice out there?

if an informal agreement nothing to stop you changing it...i believe that many people opt for every other weekend and a midweek night in this situation.

As it is an informal agreement you only need to agree together what is going to happen.

If I were you i would try the line of ...you must need time to yourself sometimes and i would like time to do thiings with DSs at weekends too. how about................. instead of every weekend and we can divide up some of the holidays as well.

CSA payments can be sorted after the pattern is established and is worked out on number of overnights which might be similar if doing a week day night too.