Just got back from mediation...

[Butterflyface]

How the fuck am I supposed to NOT discuss this with the children? It was the initial meeting, so, first off, surprise surprise, we're not eligible for legal aid. She asks me about the relationship, so I answer all the questions, which takes ages, because it was a 12 year relationship, 2 dc's, I'm remarried with 2 more dc's, so it's all really complicated.
Then she talks to him - and his sister.
Then we go in again. Apparently, he just wants his Tuesdays and Thursdays to go back to being overnight again, instead of dropping them off at 8 o'clock.
NOW, if he were a normal, responsible parent, that would be ok. But in the first 5 years of our separation, despite being given £11,000 as a settlement to a house that wasn't in his name, he hasn't learnt to drive or got himself somewhere to live. He's living with his parents still, binge drinking and smoking blow daily.
In those 5 years, I, DH or my mum would do the school runs on his day, and cope with all the disappearing uniform, lunch boxes, undone homework that happened as a result of them staying over effectively every other day. Both DD and DS were completely average students, and DS had a HUGE behavioural problem. Within the year of changing the routine, their school performance had rocketed, DS's behaviour had completely settled down, and homework's getting done, lunchboxes are always here, and we don't have to buy 50 of everything.
But, because this is apparently what the children want, (and they haven't been manipulated at all into thinking this ) we have to go and discuss this, spending money we don't have to argue over something that I can't see either of us backing down on.
AIREALLYBU?? And HOW on EARTH am I supposed to not mention this all to the kids (13 and 9) when they know and have obviously been discussing things with twatface XP? How can I just roll over and say 'yes, ok, go back to being completely all over the place because your father's a manipulating twat who just doesn't want to pay CSA it's important for you to have just as much time with your irresponsible knob father than do your homework'? (And breeeaaaaaaattttthhhhhhee). Sorry, I just know it's all part of a master plan to steal them away to his inbred Tory hillbilly thicky family to become complete fucking nobodies because life's too much hard work.

[foolonthehill]