Will he be able to take my baby away from me?

[SunkenLow]

I am going through a bad patch with H and am contemplating separation/divorce. We have 1 DC who is only 10 months old. I saw an article in the Daily Mail (I know, I know!) that said that working mums are looked down on by the courts and judges and that custody is often given to the father. I work full time (on H's insistence) and do all the care for the baby when I'm at home - H won't change a nappy or do bedtime if I'm there, and has never given him a bath - but I'm worried that because H is a teacher and so has better holidays and because he does pick up and drop off to nursery that he'll be able to spin it so he's the main caregiver and will be given custody. :(

Could someone tell me if this is a likely outcome or if it's Daily Mail hysteria? I couldn't bear to not have him living with me, and think H will try to cut me out of his life completely if I leave.

Thanks for reading.

Well it's not called custody anymore, it's residency. It's becoming more the norm for the starting point to be 50/50 shared residency. What were you thinking of in terms of access etc? What do you feel would work best?

T

Sorry, I knew it was something other than custody now but couldn't think of the word. I know they like to do 50/50 now, but thought with DS being so little they tended to have them live with one parent til they were a bit bigger and better able to understand what's going on. I don't really trust H to look after him properly either, which is another issue.

I doubt it. If he's incapable of changing a nappy then I can't imagine him bothering to fight for custody or shared care. My XP threatened all sorts of things then never even turned up at the contact centre.

Don't blame you for wanting to keep things stable while your DS is so young. Hope it all works out.

He would definitely threaten it Meglet, but like you say I don't think he'd like the reality of night wakings, early mornings, nappies etc. And I'm still bfing DS, although he's old enough for it to be seen as he doesn't need it now.

I would be worried in your position. You should keep a diary which notes what you do for DC on a daily basis in case he challenges your level of care. My understanding is that they like to maintain the status quo for children so if you are doing most of the work then you will be the one to be the primary carer. If you are bfing you are in a good position - I would keep up bf and take action now.