For a number of (non-financial) reasons I have been considering divorcing DH. But (and it?s a big but) I don?t know whether I can really afford to. We?ve only been married 4 years and have a 5 yr old DS. I have always been the main breadwinner. As DH is very poor at managing his money he has no pension, no savings and some debt.
I bought our current house using the equity I had in the house I bought before we got together. The mortgage/insurance/utilities etc are all in my name, I pay all those bills plus the childminder fees, half of the food bills, and what little is left goes on other living expenses. DH provides the other half of the food bills and the rest goes on his personal spending. The theory has always been that he would contribute so much money a month for bills but he has never got round to doing it as there is always something that gets in the way. We don?t have any joint accounts.
Clearly he would need to put a roof over his head and cover his bills/living expenses if we split up which would pretty much clear him out. I could just about manage all the existing costs on my salary but wouldn?t have anything spare. Presumably he would be entitled to half the equity in the house but to do that I would have to try and sell the current house and find something much smaller which would also mean a change of school for DS along with the emotional upheaval of a split.
I know from experience that I couldn?t count on getting any child support and although DH had always said that if we were ever to split he would just walk away as it would be unfair for him to profit from the relationship that was in the heady days before we married.
It looks as if I have a choice having to struggle financially in a smaller house or continuing in a marriage which is increasingly just a house share arrangement. I don?t know which would be worse for my DS as he is very attached to his father. Am I right to think those are my options?