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What happens next?

3 replies

JESSEY · 14/03/2012 23:54

I split with my ex a year ago its been quite volatile but we have tried to keep things civil (failing miserably sometimes) for the sake of our son aged nearly 3. However things have taken a really bad turn (there are reasons but too long to go into) I am seeing a solicitor shortly because I want official joint custody of our son. I already have him 50% or more of the week but it's the regular threat of withdrawing whenever she hits an obstacle or things dont go her way that has got too much. I provide everything from clothes to nursery costs as well as paying weekly maintenance yet out of spite/anger she has reported me to the CSA why I dont know. My ex has a volatile and totally unpredicable nature (her heavy pot habit doesn't help) she is impossible to reason with so I get frsutrated and angry and we go around in circles. I am worried for my son because of her lifestyle, and he is picking up on atmosphere and her unpredictable mood swings. She is also in a new relationship with a much younger man yet denies it when I ask. She is aggressive to my family who have been nothing but supportive in all the time we were together,and since we split. I just need some stability for my son and myself. What will happen, will it automatically be a court hearing? I feel totally out of my depth.

OP posts:
MyLittleMiracle · 15/03/2012 23:16

It wont be a court hearing straight away. I have recently split from my ex, so its really a case of a solicitor writing to her asking for her proposals and then mediation, which i have an appointment for on tuesday, however if she refuses mediation you will be able to go to court. Its quite complex, but it will get sorted. You can bring up the reasons you want access, and even ask for residency if she has a drug habit, but having said that the courts are very reluctant to take away custody of a child from its mother if the mother is willing and able to look after it, however of course you could argue fue to her drug habit she is not able to look after them properly.

ToothbrushThief · 15/03/2012 23:23

How horrible for you Jessey.

I would just point out that in a new relationship with a much younger man yet denies it when I ask is irrelevant here. You're split up and his age is neither here nor there.

What does matter is the fact that you feel your child is being affected by her lifestyle. I think any parent would empathise with that.

You need to identify what will give your child the best chance in this situation. Full on warfare probably won't help anyone. Keep a record of stuff and get advice but remember to keep your son's need first and foremost.

MyLittleMiracle · 15/03/2012 23:32

Always, and toothbrushthief is right, the courts wont care if she has a new relationship or who its with, so long as its not harming your son. They will care about her lifestyle and the drugs however

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