Sad... Pathetic.. Yep. That's me. I married my man, and we had 2 children. I went throught what I thought was baby blues. I later found out I have bi-polar. I was miserable, and I DID push my X away. Why would he want to be near me? All I did was cry, and fight over every little thing. Nothing he did was right....
Was he perfect? No. During one of my "good" days, I figured I deserved better and kicked him out. He took our new motorhome, and ended up with his married co-worker. 2 yrs later they split. THEN, I tried to get back with him. Little did I know, his 1st wife was too!!! I lost. He went back with her. 2 yrs later, they didn't last. Now, he ruined a neighbours relationship, and is with her! roll eyes
Back to me.
Everytime I see him, my heart still melts. I long to hug him and turn back time, but I KNOW it wouldn't work. I miss him. I still love him. I find it hard to talk to him, and look at him when we exchange the children.
Yes, a yr after he left, I ran into a male of ours...and this man and I started a relationship. 5 yrs later, I am still with him. I don't love him. He knows this. He also know, how I tried to get back with my X, and he understood.
I just wish I could let go of my X.... so I can love this man I am with, the way he deserves.....