Am I being petty?

[whataloadofbobbins]

Husband left at the end of January as he has another woman. We have a 4yo DD and he wants to do 50% of the childcare which he is doing and we are managing to keep things amicable for DD's sake although I am very hurt and angry. Whilst acknowledging this he seems to think we can carry on as friends and sometimes do things as a family. Obviously DD would love this, she wanted a 'group hug' the other day which we weren't able to give her :( I want the best for DD and for her to be happy but I also think that he can't expect to play happy families when it suits him so am I being petty to not join his activities with DD or invite him to join us on our activities? I also feel that I don't want him to feel he can come to me for companionship but sometimes it is a fine line between being amicable for DD's sake whilst sharing information relevant to her care and being friendly and chatty generally.

No I don't think you are being petty. Maybe in the future this may be an option but at the moment you need time to get over the break up. You sound very reasonable. You can't just go from being in a relationship to being friends without some time out.

I totally agree with Shutupanddrive, it's way too early, even being amicable must be hard going for you, so well done at managing it!

Another factor in his 'friends' suggestion, may be to eliminate any tiny bits of guilt or responsibility for the situation that he may feel, that would be great for him, but totally, totally unreasonable at this time. You do what you can, and feel how you feel, and that's not petty.

I would really struggle to do many joint things, and I'm 3yrs post divorce! We sit on opposite sides of the room at DD preschool shows, dancing lessons etc. I don't particularly care if people think I'm bring petty, I'm comfortable living with my choice!

I agree with other posters, be civil remain dignified but don't join in with his 'family' activities just to ease his guilt

I also think that if you are over-friendly, it can be confusing for the children, they may think you are possibly getting back together....we are pleasant but dont overdo it!