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just wondering if anyone can point me in the right direction??

3 replies

devientenigma · 26/01/2012 13:23

DH and I are through. We are also not on speaking terms, however I am in his house, although it's a joint mortgage he pays as he is the only one working. So obviously he will want me out. Where do I go???

We have 2 DC (14 &11) together who obviously also share the house. The youngest being severely disabled which is part of the contributory factors leading to the split. Obviously I can't just stay anywhere due to his needs and our house is adapted to suit, even though a downstairs flat or bugalow would be more appropriate.

Please any advice, where to turn etc TIA x

OP posts:
countydurhamlass · 26/01/2012 19:37

legally you could stay in the house (at least until your youngest child is 18) (is the house in both names given that the mortgage is??- if not you still may have an interest in it anyway because its the family home)- just because he paid the mortgage doesnt mean you are not entitled to half of it. you have brought the children up, a court doesnt look at who paid what during a marriage.

it depends however on the equity in the house and the mortgage. could he not pay the mortgage in lieu of child maintenance? could you take over the mortgage payments? could he perhaps take a charge over the property for his share and agree to sell when children become eighteen, you live with someone for six months or remarry?

Go see a solicitor for legal advice first. If it is looking like you may have to move out contact your local authority to see if they are able to assist in finding you a property to rent and what grants you may be entitled to. As your youngest is disabled i am almost sure they are legally obliged to at least help you even if it is just pointing you in the right direction.

also speak to CAB about what benefits etc you will be entitled to on your own

Whatever you do DO NOT leave the house willingly until you have sought legal advice!

camelwithabrokenback · 27/01/2012 12:37

Similar situation ..go to a solicitor not worry about the fees you probably find you will be covered. I understand this is a difficult step but believe me (after 26 years have finally done it myself this week) you will feel more empowered keep strong and don't leave the house however awkward the atmosphere youhave rights.

MOSagain · 27/01/2012 17:59

You don't go anywhere. It makes no difference that he pays the mortgage, the house is a matrimonial asset and you are entitled to a share of it. From the information you have provided, it seems appropriate that your remain in the house until a set time in the future.
If an agreement could be reached this could be incorporated into a Consent order which would set out when the house would be sold and proceeds divided between you (not always equally, that will depend on a lot of factors)

The 'usual' triggers are the youngest child reaching 17/18/leaving full time education (whatever agreed/ordered)
your voluntary sale
your death
your re-marriage (some courts also specify cohabitation but not all)

If your DH will not agree to then ultimately one of you will need to make an application to the court for ancillary relief (financial aspects of divorce to be dealth with) Court can make an order similar to above but of course it depends on a number of things, including other assets etc.

Also, a big factor is that one of your children is disabled and you may need to stay in that house permanently, not just until the normal triggers.

Please do not move out. You need to instruct a family lawyer. Have a look at the Resolution website for a family lawyer in your area. You may well be entitled to public funding (legal aid) so try to find one that offers this.

good luck

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