X refusing to discuss settlement adamant he gets 50/50

[nrlycrackinup]

Urgent advice required, please anyone, i;ve 2 kids, one at schl one about to start in aug, x unwilling to discuss anything, only sees kids 7 hrs 1 day week if lucky, i work 20 hrs, can just afford to take on existing mortgage, he wants 50/50 his lawyer requesting this, i need 60/40 my lawyer seems very unsure that i'd get this, really panicking unable to afford property in this area if i need to move will have to give up work move back home with my mum god!!!! ANYONE OUT THERE WITH ANY HELPFULL ADVICE, at the mo he does'nt pay minimun 20% csa says he should, feel im treading quicksand and going under really panicking, anyone with advice id appreciate it

you 'need' 60/40....sorry it doesnt work like that....its what is in best interests of the children

speak to csa about maintenence,keep that separate

Don't think you can demand any better that 50:50 TBH

BUT if by settling for 50:50 now it would leave either of you unable to house yourself (and especially the children) I think you can defer part of the settlement until the children are 18.

Keep the maintanance seperate but remind him (via lawyer if necessary) that he has a legal obligation there.

HI thanks, should have said we r in Scotland and according to my solicitor court has to go by the law and the welfare and security of children is not specifically referred to, scots law says 50/50 unless special circumstances which i have not? I will need to give up my job here and move kids away from area friends and school and i could cry - latest reply from my lawyer is she recommends i accept his offer if i do that might as well lay down in front of the next train!!! whats the point!

I'd get a second opinion from another solicitor.

Also, pursue the CSA thing as well. Don't settle unless he is paying the CSA thing otherwise it is likely he won't.

Hi supposed to go to court this thursday, hence the panick, good idea though bout accept 50/50 and pay outstanding when kids are 18 thanks.

Hi Nrly,

Seek legal advice before entering into a "Mesher" order, where you pay your share when the children are 18.

You will have to pay 50% of the current market value in however many years time...potentially you could be homeless at the end of your child-rearing days. They are brilliant however in offering sercurity right now though.

How old are your children?

Post on www.wikivorce.com and ask your question. They are so helpful and so many different opinions and experiences.

That is, the value of your home in x amount of years...not today's value. So any improvements / decorating / money spent on improving your home will hopefully increase the value, and increase the share to potentially be given to your xH.

You could also pop a question into legal on here.

Family law in Scotland is different than that in England & Wales. Scottish law says assets should be split "fairly" ie usually equally unless someone has been economically disadvantaged, say because of giving up their job to care for children, or there are special circumstances. For that reason divorce settlements tend not to move away that much from 50:50. Also the aim is to separate the finances so there are no Mesher type orders when the sale of the former matrimonial house is deferred or interest held as a charge back until children reach the age of 18.