How do you seperate when one of the couple doesn't want to?

[space1999]

My DH is quite happily married, I'm not. If I do decide I don't want to stay with him does that mean I have to move out?

He thinks there is nothing wrong except me being silly, and if he ignores me I'll calm down. So he wouldn't move out, why would he when there's nothing wrong with our relationship ; and I can't force him to, can I?

I don't particularly want to move out, it would be a huge faff and unsettling for the DC.

[DarkSkies]

It isn't nice of him to say your 'being silly'- I take it there are specific issues you are unhappy about?

I think you need to start making arrangements to leave, to be prepared if you have to go, but would it be best to try counselling or mediation first?

[DarkSkies]

you're sorry, not your.

[laInfanta]

You can just instigate divorce proceedings. No one is obliged to move out until there is a settlement, but most people do because it becomes unbearable.

[space1999]

We live in Ireland, so we would have to be living apart for at least 4 years before divorcing.

There are a few things that we argue about DarkSkies, but in general it's just a growing apart. I don't think he loves me, he's not at all interested in me or anything I have to say, but it's convenient for him to be married to me. He's polite, he's co-operative when it suits him but tends to do his own thing without discussing his decisions with me. I get the feeling he views me as an under-performing employee, a nanny/housekeeper. Day to day is fine so there's no rush to separate, it's just that we could both live for another 30 years or so and that's a long time to be not quite miserable but not at all happy.

I will go to counselling, probably by myself as his marriage seems to be fine.

[DarkSkies]

Make plans, start saving- I hope it goes well.