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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

Mediation

5 replies

medicalmayhem · 21/02/2011 17:45

was it any good? did it cut down on solicitors bills? would you recommend it?

OP posts:

StarryEyedMama · 21/02/2011 21:52

To be honest it totally depends on if you are both happy and amenable to mediation, if you are then it can definietely work. Sadly my ex was not amenable and it just made things worse. I hope it's not the latter for you and that you manage to work things out amicably as it can so much less stressful!

Meglet · 21/02/2011 21:54

Didn't work for us, XP got thrown out.

The woman in charge of the session was very good though, I'm sure it must work if both ex-partners are calm and sensible.

Original poster

medicalmayhem · 22/02/2011 11:29

thankyou for your replies.

OP posts:

honeyandlemon · 24/02/2011 19:35

we found a solicitor and I asked her to take us through a divorce in a friendly way without lots of letters back and forth. It was (relatively) cheap, she was excellent. We had two sessions of mediation (with a mediator not a solicitor) post divorce about subsequent issues which had cropped up and it was hopeless. the chap just kept asking questions and repeating them back to us - we need a solution not a repeat of the problem! but i think it does work for some people

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 24/03/2011 11:17

I had my first mediation session yesterday and we did at least manage to thrash out an access agreement regarding the kids.

My STBX was a little bit sulky (nothing new) and when the mediator asked what we wanted and then asked him was that OK he kept saying "well I haven't really thought about it". In the end, the mediator told him that that was why he was there today - a bit obvious really.

It was good for me because my STBX hmms and haahs and is generally difficult about every single little thing he can be but of course mediation is there to stop all that and come to a resolution.

However, the next session is in 3 weeks and from now on the discussions will be about finances which I am sure will be a lot more difficult than discussing the kids. I am pretty sure that my STBX who'se idea it was to go to mediation thinks that it will be an easy and cheap way for him to railroad me into accepting an unequal financial settlement.

He's in for a shock. - The mediator was VERY fair and equal.

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