Quitting job to care for T1D child?

[WhiskAverse]

Hi, has anyone left or paused work due to caring for a T1D child? My DS is 4yo and I'm struggling.

I've worked PT (2 days per week) for the last 3 years but am finding it too much managing things at the moment. We're 4 months into diagnosis so I'm sure things will get easier but for now it doesn't feel sustainable. We are in a financial position to do so, so that side of things isn't a concern; I'm more concerned about stepping away from the workforce altogther and it taking a toll on my mental health, ie not having anything 'for me' away from looking after my (adored) DC (they are 4 & 2).

T1 is so intense and sometimes I think it's good to keep my 2 days a week at work for balance, however some days it feels like it just doesn't work - eg I had to pop in to nursery treat a mild hypo at lunchtime as the staff are still learning. DH and I take it in turns to manage T1 stuff on my 2 working days so he's v involved.

Any opinions v much appreciated

Keep the job. They sound really supportive and very flexible. You'll hopefully find school better than nursery at managing it and your job really does sound like gold dust.

I’m just wondering about applying for a sabbatical from your work for say 6-12 months they might be agreeable ?

Could your DH be on DS diabetes care duty entirely on your 2 working days? And you pick up the other 3 days. I would try that before leaving your job, 2 days a week jobs are hard to find.

Another thing to consider is if your work is something you could do self employed which would give you much more flexibility.

Have you considered looking into unpaid parental leave instead of quitting? Parents are entitled to up to 18 weeks of unpaid parental leave per child. The maximum per year is usually 4 weeks but it can be more at employers discretion. If work would let you take more than the 4 weeks time off, it might give you the space you need and a way to trial if not working does help in the way you think it might?

Or alternatively, if your mental health isn’t great related to this, do you have grounds to get signed off work sick to help you process and manage this change? Xx

So encouraging and great to hear 😊

Thank you for this. I think this would be my last option if things start to feel desperate. Reading through everyone’s advice I think it’s prudent to try and think longer term. It wont be this hard forever and having something for me really helps my mental health which had been in tatters over the past four months.

I feel guilty as DH job is really intense, more so than mine. So I tend to just have the one day ‘off’ from T1 duties, my day in London

Thank you, great suggestion. I think they would be ok with it. I did have some compassionate leave right at the beginning and then used my sabbatical which gave me a month off to get up to speed with everything so not sure if I’d want to do more leave indefinitely

How long did it take them to notice the hypo and did they treat it appropriately?

I treated it - I spent the first few days he went back to nursery upstairs in the staff office - they have been so so accommodating and helpful. I had asked three different people about the carb count as I knew deep down something wasn’t right but trusted them as they were already carb counting for another girl with T1.

Obviously it's good you were there but in a way it would have been more useful to see how they dealt with it. It's not going to be the first time he has an incorrect bolus (I've been carb counting for 20 years and I still make stupid mistakes, or have to guess when eating out etc) and you have to know that the people taking care of him can deal with it.

I'm coming from a totally different perspective as I was the diabetic child rather than parent. But that was before CGM or pumps and I still can't see how it could have been a full time caring role for my mum (single parent).

I would hold out. Closed loop is coming soon - I should get mine in October - which will vastly reduce the number of decisions T1s have to make. That might give you more confidence in him being away from you.

Wow, closed loop - which one are you going for?

completely get where you’re coming from. They have been great with other hypos when I’ve not been there. Letting go is the hardest part as a parent, regardless of T1!

I liked the T Slim but because of some funding thing my consultant recommended Medtronic. I'm really looking forward to it!

Is this fully closed loop?!

DS is on the 780G and so far we are seriously impressed.

I have a friend who is really into diabetes tech who has tried pretty much everything as part of various research projects. He is back on a closed loop system having had a few years off when NHS wouldn't fund it when the last trial ended and he was totally waxing lyrical about it the last time I saw him. I don't remember what kind it is, my own geekery isn't that intense!

I'd push work for a career break to cover the starting school period. Your job sounds great, the market is crap and interesting (ish) flexible jobs are likes hen teeth.

Yep. I'm on the 780G for now.