T2 and in denial

[FFSgetagripoldlady]

Hi
I was told in June 2021 that I have type 2. Since then I have been called for two eye screenings. Nothing else. No follow up from diabetic team/ nurse or GP practice. I've not followed it up. I know I should. I'm scared and I'm also an alcoholic.
My body is screaming at me to do something and I'm starting to really strjge to ignore it. I'm 42, slightly overweight (lost loads in 2018 without trying) and I had GD during 2013.
I know these are just more excuses but I'm a single parent, low earner, long hours with driving and i am also a huge emotional eater. Good day? Celebrate with nice food. Bad day? Feel better by eating crisps.
I know I need to start checking my readings but I don't have any of the equipment and I am scared by what the health care team will do.
I'm aware of how pathetic I sound.

You should be having an annual blood test, weight, foot check and BP check. As a new diabetic you should maybe even have blood tests more frequently to begin with.
Not every diabetic is given a glucose monitor and asked to take readings, those that are have the test strips on their repeat prescription.
You say you ‘reward’ yourself with food. What’s the reward when it makes you feel miserable and is, ultimately, affecting your health?
I saw this the other day, it’s perfect for your situation & may help with the mindset you are stuck in.
Please contact your surgery and say you are diabetic but haven’t been checked, it could be that they haven’t coded you in the system correctly, or their recall info is wrong. You need to be proactive now, rather than waiting for them. It’s really too serious to wait and see if they are going to contact you.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJCnXX4J/

Thank you! Food makes me feel less shit. Even if I know it's a terrible way to behave.