Diabetic DP - how can I help him?

[SpikeLeesLeftKnee]

DP is diabetic, diagnosed 2.5 years ago. He isn’t dealing with it at all well. He is young for type 2 with no family history and despite being slightly overweight for a few years, no risk factors.
He went on an intense diet six months after being diagnosed and lost 12kg (making him v close to being underweight). His numbers improved to pre diabetic levels and the diabetes team were really pleased with what he had done.
Since being diagnosed he has changed- his mood is up and down but mostly down. He hasn’t come to terms with being diabetic and is consumed by it. He is so stressed that he is going to die. He does not want to be on any medication.

Recently his numbers have been sky high. He eventually went to see the nurse at our gp who prescribed metformin but it isnt having any effect on his numbers.

He is in such a bad place and I’m worried; about his numbers and the immediacy of him needing it addressed and also his low mood. He says he wants to die frequently but also says that he is terrified of dying from all the complications of diabetes. He says he wishes he could turn back the clock and make himself not diabetic. He’s starving himself and then when he does eat gets angry at himself saying his numbers are high because he’s eaten something. It can’t go on like this.

I’m really struggling with how to help him. I’m struggling because he won’t get help and I’m honestly scared about how high his numbers are and whether I should be forcing him to go to the hospital. I don’t even know that he would comply.

He has been in a really bad place today. We went out for a walk and I listened to him and I spoke with him about what we could do to address things. I spoke to him about addressing his low mood and about his numbers. It hasn’t helped. I think I’m making things worse. I feel like I’ve been walking on eggshells since his diagnosis.

How can I listen better. What can I do to help him? I feel so lost for him, and I’m worried.

My brain feels like it has a million tabs open at the moment i’m worried I’m just not doing the best job at helping him. We have a three year old who doesn’t sleep, exhausting full time jobs and a lot of family stuff going on including my sister being recently diagnosed with MS, my Dad undergoing cancer treatment and my Mum who is showing signs of dementia.

I sound so cold but I just want to scream into a pillow.

My DP is diabetic (type 1) and would probably have taken himself to A&E with a reading of 33 or higher. That sort of figure can be an emergency in the short term and very damaging over a longer period.

Even 12 is much too high.

I've never spoken to them, but Diabetes UK has a helplinge so may be worth speaking to them? They should be able to advise him what to do.

www.diabetes.org.uk/how_we_help/helpline

Good luck

Wow, this is pretty shocking care. How far have you got with your private referral?

Hello @AKissAndASmile.
The GP has been dreadful.
DP has an appt at a private diabetes clinic next week. He has also been added to the shielding list and has his vaccine booked for next week too which is positive.
His numbers have been all over the place and have called nhs 111 twice since the GP appt as his numbers were high 20s for most of the day and did not come down despite exercise and taking metformin. Both times have spoken to out of hours doctor and been told just to keep an eye on it and that they have advised our GP not to wait to review his medication and to refer him to the diabetes clinic.

His numbers have been better the last couple of days - between 8 and 12, 2 hours after eating and exercising - it has been a long time since they were that low (although admittedly still not good).
DP mood up and down, it’s been a stressful few months and I’m not altogether sure that I am always doing/saying the right things, but im looking towards getting it addressed at the diabetes clinic next week. Hopefully that will bring a bit of direction and reassurance to us both.

How did it go OP?

@purplebagladylovesgin do you mind me asking where those charts are from? I found them really useful.

@ExtraordinaryQuince I'm in a diabetes support group and they are pinned in the info at the start. I don't know their source but I know the group are well guided and have lots of success.

@purplebagladylovesgin is that a Facebook group and if so is it open to everyone?

@ExtraordinaryQuince yes it's on Facebook. It's predominantly an American group but has lots of members from around the globe.

The group is called Reversing Type 2 Diabetes. It's a nice gentle group.

Sensible moderators who use low carb or keto and intermittent fasting to maintain healthy blood sugars. Lots of guidance on how to start. I've pretty much reversed mine now without medication, and I'm looking to start to use very slightly different way of eating to go forward.

The group is for type 2. So it focuses mainly on insulin resistance and reversing this.

Thanks @purplebagladylovesgin. I'll have a look. It sounds good.

@SpikeLeesLeftKnee how are things now with your dh? I hope your private appointment has given you some help/direction. I can't believe how shocking your Dh gp has been. I'd be writing some form of complaint and requesting a change of gp within the surgery

I also hope your other family issues are easing/getting better. You have had so much going on.

I've read your thread as my oh is being checked for type 2. He's putting his head in the sand as he doesn't want to admit that he has to make lifestyle changes. Blurry vision, thirsty, peeing a lot. We are at the start of the diabetes journey but I fear my oh will resist acknowledging it even though he feels dreadful most of the time.

Hi @minmooch
DP is in a much better place since my last comment although I’m sad to say we are no further forward with our GP. We had a private appt at the diabetes clinic at the end of feb were it was confirmed that DP is type 1. He was prescribed insulin and has been on that since. It has made a massive difference to his numbers, he is no longer losing weight and feels much better in himself for the most part (he has days of feeling fed up and frustrated as you’d expect). We are still learning as we go but reading back through this thread, I’m amazed how far he’s come and what a difference it is to late last year- it was a very dark place.

The GP has been utterly useless and erring on negligent. We are still waiting for a referral to the NHS diabetes clinic. Despite confirmation from the private consultant that DP is type one, the GP has not facilitated a referral to the clinic, despite being chased almost daily by DP (although the GP did add insulin to DPs prescription ).
We’ve been self funding a libre2 which has made a huge difference and provided a lot reassurance with navigating insulin doses as DP has had a few hypos since starting insulin. We’re fortunate enough that we can afford to do this; I’m appalled that had we not been able to do so, DP would still remain mis-diagnosed and not getting the treatment/medication that he needs
It’s going to be a long road, probably one that hasn’t even started yet, but he is in a much better place mentally and physically than he was in December.
I really hope that your DH gets a speedy diagnosis and appropriate treatment, but also that he is able to come to an acceptance of it and can make steps to help himself. I don’t know what it feels like to be diagnosed but I know what it’s like to be on the sidelines trying to give direction and support - it’s not fun to be there.

Hi, your post sounds very worrying. He sounds like type 1 diabetes. With all the weight loss, he shouldn’t be having any more metformin as it doesn’t work as well in type 1 and it helps with reduction of weight.
Has he been provided with a ketone meter at least or has the GP checked for ketones to check he isn’t becoming acidotic?
If things do not improve I would just go to a&e and you may get into the diabetes clinic that way.
I find it quite worrying the way things are being handled by the GP

The GP can do a test for GADS to check for type 1 diabetes. Many surgeries can do this