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Dementia and Alzheimer's

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Possible dementia symptoms and REM sleep problems, what should we do?

3 replies

Bulldog01 · 08/04/2026 02:59

My Husband, Daughter & I think he has dementia, he is 67.
At the moment he has REM sleep issues, they are virtually every night, he is breathing heavily, moving his hands, laughing, sometimes shouting.

He is totally unaware during these episodes.
They use to be now & then, but now most nights.
It has become a real issue as i cannot sleep, through frustration & worry it's now 2.15am.

After waiting almost 2 yrs for an appointment with a Neurologist, which was a complete waste of time.
She did not think he had Dementia?

He has been accessed by the GP who does not think he has dementia.
This was around a year ago.
While on the phone to the doctor
he has answered some simple questions, that a child could answer!

He is definitely not behaving normally. Anxious, manipulative, aggressive, argumentive, repetitive, forgetful.

I have recorded the sleep issues, as they do prove that his sleep issues are real.

My husband is reluctant to go to the doctor's, as he thinks he may loose the right to drive.He may loose his independence.He is in denial, I talk to him about it,
but he just carries on like it's ok & normal.

The main difficulty I have is that, he can behave normally most of the time,but every now & then,
I have noticed differences that are sometimes subtle but out of character.
Example Humming!

We are both independent minded, I think that's why we struggle to ask for professional help or advice!

To be honest, the treatment he has received so far from NHS has been poor!
Where do we go from here?

I am monitoring the situation, like going with him to the shops, & appointments.
His driving is fine, I watch him while he is driving.
If I thought he was not managing,
I would not let him drive.

But as I don't drive, I'm wondering if he should be driving?

Are you going through this? or have you experienced this? How would you handle this? What next?

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
KittyWilkinson · 08/04/2026 05:10

That sounds really difficult for all of you. I have a relative aged 70 with similar problems. Has anyone suggested Parkinson''s to you? I'm surprised that the neurologist wasn't more helpful.
Not everyone has a tremor in the early stages but the REM sleep disorder and personality changes are symptoms.
My relative was seen within a month by a Parkinson's consultant after a GP referral and diagnosis confirmed after further tests and scans. We are N.W.
Just a suggestion. Parkinson's UK have a helpline, it might be worth ringing them and having a chat.
I hope that there are more replies for you later today.

KittyWilkinson · 08/04/2026 05:13

Just to add a diagnosis doesn't mean you lose your licence. But do press the GP for further help.

GuineaPigWig · 12/04/2026 01:00

Dementia is a fairly arbitrary cut-off. You might well be right that he is on the pathway, but things not quite bad enough yet to meet threshold for dementia diagnosis. And practices varies greatly depending on the clinician is they say dementia or not in a borderline presentation . You might do better with an old age psychiatrist / memory clinic than a neurologist.

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