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Dementia and Alzheimer's

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Complicated housing situation / deprivation of assets?

32 replies

Lemonlolly89 · 19/01/2026 13:06

Looking for some experiences and advice please (we are planning to get some proper legal and financial advice too but just for a bit of preliminary research).

It's sadly looking increasingly likely that my MIL is going to be diagnosed with dementia. She is living independently with a partner in his home and coping well for now but we are trying to plan proactively as best we can for an uncertain future.

My SIL now rents out the home MIL used to live in before moving in with her partner. Mortgage not yet paid off. Obviously this is an asset that would be assessed if she were to ever need social care in future.

Is there any kind of protection for a child (albeit a grown-up child!) living in the family home still in a situation like this? I understand there is for a spouse or partner but we're unclear on this.

SIL has suggested they look into putting the house into a trust, however I think this could fall under deprivation of assets. She's understandably anxious to make sure she can stay in her home. She is unlikely to be able to get a mortgage to buy the property (or another elsewhere) due to her financial situation and is quite resistant to the idea that she might ever have to rent elsewhere (for the same financial reasons she's quite unlikely to find anywhere decent for the same price).

It's a really tricky situation that I can imagine will only become more complicated so I'm just trying my best to support everyone by gathering facts. I'd rather MIL had this asset at her disposal in future to fund the best care possible if it ever comes to that - but nor do I want to see my SIL lose her home. I do think she needs to prepare herself for that eventuality though.

Grateful for any advice from anyone who's been in a similar situation. If you read this far, thank you.

OP posts:
Lemonlolly89 · 19/01/2026 17:01

LIZS · 19/01/2026 16:34

Does sil pay a market rent on it? If not and especially if it is put in a trust the trustees/poa have an obligation to maximise the asset to cover MIL care costs.

Not originally but it is now market rent, MIL has no other income currently as she's unable to work but doesn't qualify for PiP so needs to maximise the asset for all sorts of reasons. It's a sad situation with no winners really.

OP posts:
Lemonlolly89 · 19/01/2026 17:04

Oldraver · 19/01/2026 15:23

Well SIL could have your MIL to live back in her old house and take care of her

I think she is just going to have to suck it up

She probably would if MIL needed it, she is very supportive and involved with her appointments and I could see her doing that. But yes I tend to agree she is going to have to adjust to the idea that the house is not hers forever

OP posts:
Lemonlolly89 · 19/01/2026 17:06

I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has read and commented. I really appreciate it. And I know it comes from hard-worn experience of your own with your own loved ones. We're only just starting down this path, I feel for all of you who have walked it for longer x

OP posts:
LIZS · 19/01/2026 17:09

How old is mil? Pip is about functionality,, so need for support to self care, go out, manage finances, attend appointments etc. if she is past retirement age it would be Attendance Allowance not Pip and sil might be eligible for Carers Allowance if she moved back in.

Lemonlolly89 · 21/01/2026 09:46

LIZS · 19/01/2026 17:09

How old is mil? Pip is about functionality,, so need for support to self care, go out, manage finances, attend appointments etc. if she is past retirement age it would be Attendance Allowance not Pip and sil might be eligible for Carers Allowance if she moved back in.

She's not yet retirement age but not far off. She's been rejected for PiP twice despite needing support in most of those areas now. Thank you though - the attendance allowance is worth us looking at for future

OP posts:
WMW · 21/01/2026 17:49

First things first OP - has yoru DH got both LPAs for your MIL.

Lemonlolly89 · 23/01/2026 14:02

WMW · 21/01/2026 17:49

First things first OP - has yoru DH got both LPAs for your MIL.

Fortunately yes, they got that set up quite early on when it became clear memory issues were worsening

OP posts:
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