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An Ethical Question for Power of Attorney Usage

4 replies

EthicalQuestion · 05/01/2026 03:55

My elderly relative has gone into care. They have vascular dementia. They have large cash reserves and own a property which I need to sell as Power of Attorney. They would have cash reserves to pay for 10-15 years of good quality care but likely will pass away in the next 1-3 years.

I live 3000 kilometres away from them and will need to fly interstate to the nearest airport, hire a car and spend several nights in a motel in relative’s town. I will need to arrange the house clear out, black mould removal (yikes- cannot stay in house for this reason), arrange real estate agent etc while I am there. I have no issue in using my POA and paying for these house selling costs from relative’s account.

My question is whether it would be ethical for me to pay for my airfares, accommodation and car hire from relative’s account. This is all new to me. There is a second person with POA who will be there too, but they live much closer and won’t have as many travel costs but will need a hotel too. I just want to check with MN hive mind before raising it with them- no idea if it would be too cheeky to ask or if it is a reasonable request. We are POA jointly and severally so I don’t need their authority per se, but wouldn’t do it unless they agreed.

OP posts:
W0tnow · 05/01/2026 04:14

Of course. I mean, it will be useful to set up some ground rules for transparency. Keep all receipts of course. But yes.

CloudPop · 05/01/2026 05:11

Totally ok. Be reasonable, and as pp said, keep a clear record and receipts of what you spent and what you did there. Treat it like a business trip, following reasonable rules.

EthicalQuestion · 05/01/2026 05:22

Thank-you. That gives me peace of mind. It’s all new to me so I feel like I’m in the dark here.

OP posts:
ProfessorBinturong · 05/01/2026 10:53

I agree with PP, claiming reasonable expenses is allowed. Paying for a private jet and a suite at the Ritz would not be OK, but an ordinary level of essential travel and accommodation is absolutely fine.

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