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Dementia and Alzheimer's

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Is this end game?

6 replies

Person93369 · 31/12/2025 14:18

Mum has mixed dementia- Vascular and Alzheimer’s. She is bed bound doubly incontinent and now problems swallowing so on a level 5 diet and thickened fluids. She’s been low even confused but generally not too bad.

After Christmas she vomited, we don’t know why. She now has a rattle in her throat when she breaths. Carers insisting it’s in her chest. It def isn’t. I rang GP who said they would give her antibiotics in case she has aspirated.

She’s on a nimbus air mattress but has started to complain of pain in her bum again but no sign of pressure areas. So she won’t tolerate being tilted up right.

Is this her coming her the end? She has Carer’s 4 times per day and my sibling and I also visit for an hour each but she is getting to a point where she doesn’t want us to leave. I was wondering what we do? Do I ask doc to visit her? I feel we have been left with this frail frail woman and we don’t know what to do? Donhospice get involved. I read about end of life meds? What are they? When do they happen? Who decides? I’m worried what happens next.

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 31/12/2025 14:23

Do you think it’s time for her to move into a care home? It must be pretty lonely for her to be left at home all day by herself. My stepfather was bed bound until he moved into a care home - then they were able to get him up every day safely and he actually rallied round for a few months in their care.
Likely she won’t receive care in a hospice.

Person93369 · 31/12/2025 14:30

She doesn’t want a care home. She is a very insular woman and doesn’t like company or visitors. We have a hoist and until a couple weeks ago got her out every day. She can’t tolerate it now and wails until we put her back in bed.

OP posts:
1457bloom · 31/12/2025 14:34

She should have a live in carer.

Cupboarddoorknob · 31/12/2025 14:35

Hi OP, contact her GP and explain your concerns, ask for a home visit and referral to the palliative care team. Sorry you are going through this

Person93369 · 31/12/2025 14:36

@Cupboarddoorknobthank you. I will call doc. Thank you for the advice. I didn’t know what to say.

OP posts:
TonTonMacoute · 31/12/2025 14:38

I would talk to her GP.

I'm astonished that her care is being managed at home with that level of dependency. She appears to be at a stage when her care needs overcome her wants, I think she would be better in residential care. MIL was in a very similar condition, she had her own room in the home and was every bit as private and quiet as she would have been at home.

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