DF not wanting to eat

[Zapx]

Hey everyone. My DF (69) started with Alzheimer’s at 64. He’s still keeping up with various activities like walking the dog, but any cooking/managing life admin is completely gone. However, a new problem is that he’s all but given up eating unless we really nag him. He’s absolutely skeletal, even though prior to this he was eating masses but still lost loads of weight really quickly.

How much would you force/encourage him? He’s deeply unhappy and regularly says he wants to die. I’d hate to be neglectful, but trying to get him to eat the whole time when he is adamant he doesn’t want to is driving everyone to the wall tbh.

Any and all advice welcome.

My dm has dementia, also given up, deeply unhappy (df in locked ward since last yr with lewy body dementia) they have been together since Mum 15.

She doesnt eat and it's a constant battle. She hates being in hospital so i regularly remind her that she will end up dehydrated and back in hospital and that is usually enough to get something into her. She cares about staying home so i use this to encourage eating.

The prob is when they dont eat they eventually lose their appetite. Its a vicious cycle.

My sympatheties op. It's horrible to watch.

It’s very common with dementia

honestly it’s a horrible illness, I wouldn’t want to live with it. There’s no cure, he’s not going to get better, I’d let him get on with it.

Yeah I lean towards this approach too but I feel like we’re not doing “enough” to look after him if we don’t keep on at him to eat. It’s so hard. He’s too alert/well to go into a home, and no particular need for him to either tbh as he likes where he lives and likes his dog etc and everything else is kind of manageable… apart from the non eating.

Arghhh… I hate this.

@Forthelovagod thanks for replying - yeah this is mostly the approach at the moment as he HATES going to the doctors so if nothing else is working I kind of threaten to ring 111… but then I feel absolutely terrible for essentially trying to scare him into eating something. He basically wants to be left alone to die.

I’m so sorry, it’s so shit.

if it helps (does anything with this evil disease?) my dad is further along and I think we all wish he had gone sooner, so I wouldn’t feel guilty (hard I know).