carers assessment - charging for care

[DougalButty]

Mum just had a carers assessment, she’s a full time 24 hr carer for my Dad, who has dementia. She just had a carers assessment and was just offered some leaflets, no actual help.
She asked what would happen if she was ill or in an accident and was unable to care for Dad. She was told that social services would step in for 48 hours then the family would be liable for care costs. Is this correct? Neither my parents or myself have anywhere near the money to pay for this. No savings, only asset is the house they live in.

Can your mum not phone and request a needs assessment for your dad?

The less involved you appear to be, tye better.

Scary Monster, yes, I think that will be the way to go. I’ve been trying to help Mum as it’s all been quite overwhelming and don’t want to pile more things on her to do.
When you say the less involved I appear to be, the better, do you mean Dad will get less support if I am present at the assessment, or if they tell them I am nearby? This is what I am worried about - obviously I want to help them with everything I can, but I can’t provide ongoing care and I’m really only available on a weekend or for special meetings / emergencies. if I am seen to be around, I worry social services will assume I will take over caring completely or offer no or less help to my parents.

I think it's been said before , family are not assumed to be carers unless they ask to be

Ah I see. We managed to ask for the needs assessment as my dad was profoundly deaf and couldn't talk on the phone, so they set the appointment up and then gained consent when they were actually there.

And as others have said no, they won't assume. I have 5 siblings, we all work full time and lived varying distances away from my parents. We covered the 'life admin' side (appointments, finances, occasional bits of shopping etc) at no time did we do any caring.

As some examples,

You can help your mum with sorting it by:

Finding the phone number and the opening hours and what it’s called, and what she’s asking for, and a few notes on why requesting it. And leave her with that clearly written out on a piece of paper. So she appears to be having to manage everything herself, but also you’re spoon feeding it to her.

Potentially be there for an assessment, but with very much a ‘I’m concerned my mum will put on too much of a brave face, or I might be described as more available than I am’. And don’t make yourself look at home. Let your mum answer the door etc. emphasise how often you’re away etc.