DM and my head in the sand

[NeedAFuturePlan]

I think I just need someone to tell me I’m not making a fuss out of nothing.

DM (80) has been on her own for 11 years since DF died. At the time of him being very poorly, DM coincidentally had an appointment at the Memory Clinic (as she was concerned about her memory), but was given a glowing report.

As I see her frequently, I’ve noticed a gradual change - over the last few years I realise I would never expect her to remember a conversation from the previous time we met. However, there have been a few incidents recently that have really worried me.

Being scammed over the phone to the point of going to the bank (understandable) but then a few weeks later having the exact same thing happen, but not recall the first time.

Giving me all financial folders to look after (with POA) but 2 weeks later having no memory of giving them to me.

Being scammed last summer (loft insulation) but when the same company came back recently, having no memory of last year’s incident.

Going out for lunch with a friend but only a few week later being adamant they’d lost touch.

This isn’t just age-related memory
loss, is it? I don’t have anything to compare to.

Many thanks for reading my long post!

Sounds like my DH. Scored mild cognitive impairment on the memory clinic test, waiting to see a consultant. Would she agree to go back to clinic?

No, OP, this is not age-related memory loss. You are right to be concerned.
You'll want to take steps to having her re-evaluated.
Good idea to talk to the Alzheimer's Society https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/
Sending good wishes - this is not easy.

Hello. That does sound worrying, and it would be good if your mum went to her doctor so that she can be assessed again.
The things you've described are not just absent-mindedness. They sound like dementia.

Thank you, and I’m sorry to hear about your DH. I think she might agree to go, but I would have to act on it immediately or she would forget!

This sounds exactly like my mother including being scammed twice. There were no significant concerns when we first went to the memory clinic 3 years ago, but I requested reassessment and, at our appointment last week, she was given a diagnosis of vascular dementia.

Thank you - I just need to hear it’s not me being dramatic (I know I’m in denial!)

Thank you 😊

Thanks, and I’m sorry to hear about your Mum. If you don’t mind me asking, did your Mum have to have a scan or was the assessment enough?

She had a head scan a few months ago following a serious fall so it was that scan plus various cognitive tests at her most recent appointment. These showed a decline from the previous assessment

OK, thank you for your reply. I hope you get lots of support now you have a diagnosis.