My Mum - Does this sound like early dementia?

[ThatDaughter]

This is about my Mum but let me start my saying my Dad died from dementia (in his 90s) so I do have experience of his. He had Dementia with Lewy Bodies, which is similar to Parkinson's, and the associated symptoms including hallucinations.

This with my Mum is different.
I don't know if it's old age and cognitive decline, or dementia.

The main issue is 'false memories' (which could of course just be 'muddled thinking' at age 98.)

It's not about memories from the past, but within days or hours.
The pattern is that she refers to conversations we've had (her and I) that simply didn't happen. I'm talking about within 24 hours, not months or years ago.

She will insist I've said something, or we've discussed something, yet it's never happened. Usually there is a grain of truth, where half of it is correct, but the rest is her imagination. Up until now I've 'pushed back' and said it's not 'correct' but she gets all huffy.

An example is that I was helping her fill in a form that needed black ink.
She started to say that although the pens were 'blue caps' one might be black ink (it wasn't of course.) The ink was a dark blue, but the cap on the pen was bright blue.

However, the point is she swore blind that I'd said it was black and 'we'd discussed this the day before'.

No! Never happened.

Over the last few years there have been numerous cases of her telling me about things I've said to her- yet they never happened. It's not as if I've forgotten- whatever she's describing simply never happened. And of course if I say that to her, she gets annoyed and tells me I've forgotten.

She's also becoming quite snappy and aggressive if she's contradicted, but again, she's been like this all her life, so it's hard to know.

She struggles to explain things that aren't just 'chit chat' like she can't get her thoughts in order or find the words.

She has had brains scans not long ago for another possible neuro condition, but she wasn't accessed for dementia. There was some evidence of 'loss of white matter' but this was put down to age-related.

Any ideas? I want to try to prepare for the future and I'm not sure if she needs an assessment or if there is any point at her age.

Yes, my Mum has dementia and this is what she does. She will confuse conversations. Will have a conversation with someone else and assume it was me. Where there are gaps in her knowledge she will make things up. I’ve realised that she can’t help it and doesn’t realise she’s doing it. She doesn’t realise she has dementia even though it has been discussed quite a few times. I just go with the flow now and don’t challenge her.

I would get her back to the gp for a memory test under the guise of a health check up. It’s helpful to get a diagnosis. You then have access to support, can potentially claim attendance allowance and a blue badge.

Sorry this is happening. Best of luck.

Also, at times my Mum is the worst version of herself so the bossy and snappy ramped up if I questioned her prior to the diagnosis.

With kindness - aged 98 she has had a very good run so not sure that it would matter per se if she had “early” dementia? Surely at that age there is often just cognitive decline.

You might want to check she doesn’t have a uti though as that can cause confusion.

She could also be increasingly deaf? My mum would be convinced we had said something when it was clear (to us) that she had got the wrong end of stick

Thanks all.

@DelphiniumDoreen She already gets AA at the lower rate based on some physical things. No Blue Badge- have tried to apply and she doesn't qualify.
I think she'd realise what the GP was doing as she was present when my Dad was assessed. The memory test is actually accessible online so it's something I could do with her as a 'game' some time!
Sorry to hear about your circumstances.

I agree with you @KidsDoBetter , as she is very old.
My concern is that I don't live near her ( I'm hundreds of miles away) and if she needed personal care, we'd need to be looking at carers or a care home which she adamantly doesn't want, so it's a worry as to whether this will progress or something else be her demise.

@LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand She it deaf without hearing aids and even with them she mishears. Asked her many times to have them reviewed and she says they are fine. Not sure if they can do anything more for her hearing. It is an issue - we're aware of it.