How to get parent with alzheimers to accept help

[MissJeanBrodiesmother]

My mum has alzheimers and dementia. She is doing OK at home with her husband although she obviously needs plenty of help. We want to start with some care support so he can have more of a break but she is very resistant. She doesn't feel she needs it and will of course forget the conversation almost immediately anyway. How do we get her to accept things like dementia cafes or a carer visiting or taking her out?

I think its easier to get them to accept help by getting them used to someone being around the house to begin with - not as a carer, but as a cleaner to 'help her dh out' especially if there is a health condition of his he can hook it on (like, the doctor says I need to look after my back and get a cleaner so I'm not twisting). My parents had a lovely cleaner 3 times a week before they started also having a care visit, but mum would potter around happily 'helping' the cleaner and dad could get a break. Then the carer was 'a friend of the cleaner', and the lady who would take mum out for a couple of hours was then an easy transition too 'carer said you loved plants and I don't have anyone to go to the garden centre with, so lets go have a mooch and a coffee'.

An excellent suggestion from @CMOTDibbler

Another good way, if they know someone who would like to take on the role (friend or family member), is to get direct payments and employ the person as a PA.

This tends to go better than unknown carers offering to take the person with dementia out.