Grandad's bedtime wearing carer out

[Cardinalita90]

My grandad (88) has dementia and my nana (85) is his carer. She does an amazing job but she's clearly exhausted. One of the main reasons is my grandad won't go to bed until 10:45pm so my nana has to start helping him get ready for bed and then sort the house alarm etc so she isn't getting into bed until 11:30 most nights and has no downtime.

He's a very stubborn man and although my nana tells him the impact it has on her, she doesn't force the issue. He's still lucid enough to understand. We've suggested they get him ready for bed earlier in the evening and then he can go back to watching TV but he won't.

They're both very reluctant to accept outside help but does anyone have any suggestions or know whether a carer/home help of some kind would work that late in the evening? Although I suppose it wouldn't change my nana needing to be up to sort the alarm.

Tia!

No, only an overnight carer will work that late.

Would it really matter if she doesn’t set the alarm?

What does getting ready for bed look like? It wouldn’t be the end of the world if he went to bed half dressed without brushing his teeth or whatever.

To be honest, this is just the start. My dad would roam about the house all night and my mum was on her knees with exhaustion before I intervened and got social services involved.

Start with the GP and ask for medication to help him want to sleep earlier.

GP can also help start the ball rolling with a care package, you (family) will need one eventually and hopefully before Gran is totally at the end of her tether.