Suspect my dad has dementia/Alzheimer’s

[moaningmyrtr]

Title says it really. He is 80, and has been showing some signs of forgetfulness in the past year, forgetting birthdays, forgetting he had been sent an invitation to my brothers wedding, asking for one a few times, but then did arrive and seemed just as usual on the day.
I spoke to him on the phone yesterday and he asked me the same question a few times, repeating himself, and today he’s sent me a photo of himself as a kid that he’s sent me quite recently, with the same message as before.
His brother has Alzheimer’s and my dad has recently moved him into a home. My dads partner also has Alzheimer’s and he is her carer.
i live around 5 hours drive away and im
wondering what to do next.
Im thinking encouraging him to ask his gp, and then asking him what his wishes are regarding care as and when he needs it.
Have people moved their parents closer to them? Is that too confusing for Alzheimer’s sufferers?

Do you have PoAs in place? Who is legally responsible for your uncle and your father's partner?

If you have concerns and he is willing, GP can do a test. If that throws up issues, then the next step is a referral to the memory clinic and a brain scan. If you are going to move everyone, sooner rather than later with dementia. Familiarity and routine is very important.

@moaningmyrtr it's quite hard to know isn't it as my FIL is 85 and he's been a bit forgetful and had a tendency to repeat for around 3 years- however in all honesty he's no worse now a couple of years later ( and has just moved home and coping with associated admin and box unpacking - ( doesn't want help) - has your dads cognitive ability declined significantly or has it gradually crept in?

Hi I care for DH who has Lewy Bodies dementia. I think getting him to see his GP is a good start and often they can refer onwards to a memory clinic. Be slightly cautious in that paranoia can sometimes be associated with some dementias and he may be suspicious of why you want him to attend. However early medication can help for a while to control symptoms which will bring your DF a better quality of life. On occasion I have felt it necessary to be fairly pushy with GPs to get a proper diagnosis. Dementia is a bit of a backwater and the logic historically has been as it can only be slowed rather than stopped, there is limited benefit in allocating resources.

Take it slowly but I would also ask if your father will consent to POAs (financial and health and wellbeing).

As for care take this slowly. It is really important that independence is maintained as long as is possible. Lean on the doctor’s advice but as examples we have moved to doing all meals for DH and DH still goes out for walks but with a tracking device. He also still manages is own bank card.

Thank you everyone, that is all really helpful.
We have been doing POA paperwork for a while, and I will need to check it has all gone through as there were some bits I’ve been asked to sign more than once by dad.
I saw him last at Christmas and there were no signs that concerned me then, and I was looking after the wedding forgetfulness.

When we talk on the phone he seems just the same as always, it’s things like he forgot my daughters birthday after asking what she’d like, and also forgot my brothers birthday. His partner talks a lot about how Alzheimer’s makes her forget things and is very aware of how it affects her, my uncle is much more in need of support as he started to get paranoid that people were taking things from his home and going out for walks and not being able to get home.
I’m not sure who legally has care of them, his partner has family still, and my uncle was supported by his niece and her husband until it wasn’t manageable any more.

I have holiday from work at Easter so will drive over and see him then I think, I don’t feel like I can bring it up over the phone.

I had thought that as he has so much of the illness in his life already he might be aware of any symptoms in himself but I can also see how that might not register if he was unwell.