Resistant Alzheimer’s Parent and Attendance Allowance

[keepcrackingon]

Parent has capacity in some areas, but not others (delusions about specific topics), and lacks any insight into their Alzheimer’s diagnosis (believes diagnosing psych is mad, grossly incompetent or ill-intentioned). Becomes enraged at any suggestion they might need help and refuses to take medication. In order to retain their trust so that I can offer practical help, I have to avoid all mention of dementia.

My question is: if I apply for attendance allowance on their behalf (I have LPA), will they receive paperwork that makes it clear I have done so (and why)? I am concerned that they will feel deeply betrayed and refuse to speak to me if so.

You can order the forms to come to you. If you have LPA you'll sign them etc anyway. There is the chance that the confirmation the DWP has received the application and then the award letter will be sent to them, but it may be possible to ask for this to be diverted to you. Then, unless your parent notices the payment going into their account, it should be fine. You should call the Attendance Allowance helpline and ask them about having any correspondence diverted to you.

That’s really helpful - thank you!

I've always found the Attendance Allowance people to be very helpful so hopefully it will work out for you.

Do you think your DParents will notice the payment going into their bank account?

Just wondering too if you've contacted your local Carer's Hub. Your situation sounds extremely difficult and it can help to talk to others

Thanks @RappersNeedChapstick - that’s really kind. Good thought about the Carers’ Hub as I was not aware of this support. It is very difficult to help someone who thinks any form of Alzheimer’s-related help or intervention is evidence that people are trying to get them!

I applied for my father in law, but the letter confirming it went direct to him. For my Mother In Law she had a visit from Age UK who went through a lot of finances with her, broadband, gas & electricity, car insurance and house insurance. It might be helpful for you to ask for someone to come around from Age UK.

It is very difficult to help someone who thinks any form of Alzheimer’s-related help or intervention is evidence that people are trying to get them!

I suppose in their mind it's a perfectly acceptable solution to what's going on? They are unlikely to be aware of the problems they're having and might well think that people are making up the diagnosis.

For some very practical steps to take I'd try reading if you ever have time The Twilight Shepherd. It's available on Amazon. Although it's not specifically aimed at Carers of people with Dementia it does give some very practical steps in things like LPAs.

A book I haven't read but often gets a mention on this section is Contented Dementiaa*.

I hope that you manage to find some support too