Worried about my mum but not sure how to handle it?

[teenboymom]

My mam is 71 and has aged a lot in last 5-10years. I came across a thread recently on here and it was like reading about my mam, posters were suggesting Lewy Body Dementia. It was like reading about my mam when I looked it up. She had most symptoms bar the tremors but I was away with her for the last week and while on a taxi ride could see her leg was tremoring every 30seconds or so, she said it's restless leg but I don't think it is.

She has 'normal' memory loss as in she wouldn't forget dates or peoples names but will lose her train of thought mid sentence. But her problem solving is terrible. It's hard to describe but she just can't make a decision. Even asking where to go for lunch, it would take her a while to figure out logistics.

She has the shuffle, taking baby steps everywhere. She also hears music at night. We put it down to her not wearing her hearing aids but it's every night

She is a real worrier about anything health wise so I'm nervous to broach it with her

She also has advanced kidney disease so allt of these symptoms could be that. She is only months away from needing dialysis and I know kidney disease can cause brain fog, leg weakness etc

Really don't know where to go with this. I could speak to my gp but I don't know how to bring it up with my mam without worrying her

Restless keg syndrome can be a symptom of LBD. My FIL had this more than a classic tremor. There's quite a good list of symptoms here https://lewybodyresourcecenter.org/what-is-lbd/symptoms/. My FIL ticked a lot of these, to a greater or lesser extent, in some cases for years before diagnosis. One of the key things we noticed was variable alertness - a kind of zoning in and out at different times of day (He's now in the later stages and spends a lot of time either asleep or staring blankly).

I totally recognise the lack of decision making. LBD is much more about executive function than memory in the early stages. I remember trying to help FIL with some financial stuff quite early on, and he (who was always far more numerate than me) just couldn't understand how some simple figures on the page worked. He also started to really struggle with things like planning a journey, working out what time he'd need to leave etc.

It does sound like a check up would be a good idea. If you can talk to the GP first, that might help you to have an idea of the next step - they might suggest a strategy? Might be worth taking a list of symptoms if helpful. I think a lot of GPs are more familiar with Alzheimers symptoms than LBD. FIL only got a diagnosis once he went to see a specialist privately.

I really hope it's not LBD. It's a tough road.

This suggestion usually gets a few posters saying that you can't do this but I have, more than once, and it's worked every time.

My advice would be to email her GP. You'll need to make it clear that you don't want them to reveal and information about your DM but you are very concerned about the nighttime Auditory Hallucinations, the brain fog, anxiety and tremors and you feel that there may be some signs of Dementia. If you say that you are keen for her to avoid a Hospital admission they usually pay attention.

The thing that seems to help with emails is that you have a trail.

If you haven't got POAs in place for health and finance, I'd also talk to your DM and try to get them in place before she has a diagnosis. You could say to your DM that it's a good idea with her kidney disease?