Advice pls

[Hallelujah2020]

My mum is nearly 80, physically is very fit and well.

She has always been an anxious person and this has got worse as she’s got older particularly in social situations and if there’s a lot going on, plans changing etc

She tends to do things like if she’s in a new place she will come out of the toilet and of forgotten where you are. Gets confused with plans, especially if they are changing

She doesn’t drive now and my dad keeps an eye on her

When I go she is less anxious because it’s only me but when my brothers go or sister she’s worse because she’s more stressed anyway when they are there and always has been but also it’s very busy, noisy, lots of things going on

Talking to her she’s very on the ball, can remember stuff both recent and in the past. Very interested in current affairs

Siblings insist she’s got dementia and we need to push dad to take her to doctors. I think it’s anxiety and yes I think she/they need some support but am I right?

[greenbeansnspinach]

Oh how worrying for you Hallelujah. It’s really impossible to tell without knowing your mum, and it sounds like a professional opinion would be helpful for everyone - is your mum herself worried about her lapses, and does she think she’s slipping a bit? She won’t be the best judge, as insight is usually not present in cognitive decline, but if she’s concerned it will be easier to support her to make a GP appointment. The GP can carry out a mini memory assessment which might put everyone’s minds at rest as far as dementia is concerned and point to measures to help her with her anxiety. Or it might suggest a more in depth cognitive assessment could help.
You could write to the GP in advance to let them know the views within the family. And if possible one of you should go too.
My mum has always been an anxious person and one of the first things we noticed was a growing lack of confidence in about 2018. The condition has progressed, but she’s still able to live “independently “ (with a lot of help from me that she doesn’t fully recognise).
Everyone is different!
Hope things go well for you.

[PinkMimosa]

It sounds as though she needs help with her anxiety firstly. Do you think she'd be willing to see the GP?