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Dementia and Alzheimer's

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How to stop feeling sad

4 replies

nearlyemptynes · 07/11/2023 19:04

My dad has Alzheimers. Middle stages. My mum, understandably is really stressed and it is making her really horrible to me. I understand why but its hard. My dad is ok. But he is not my dada anymore. In some ways he is but he cant join in with conversations, he is quiet, he has a good sense of humour and enjoys simple things, birds, watching small children skipping along the street. He enjoys his sport and watching football as he always has. We take him to the match and he has no idea who is playing. But I just can't shake this sadness and spend most of the time on the verge of tears. I have 3 teenage children who are great, but demanding, a full time job. My inlaws are 10 years older than my dad - why him? I just feel so sad. I know there is much worse to come I just don't know if im strong enough to deal with it.

OP posts:
Tribblesarelovely · 07/11/2023 19:28

I’m so sorry , this is a disgusting disease, I know what you’re going through and I really feel for you. It’s awful to witness someone you love just slowly disappear.
I can’t offer any advice, only to say, whatever help is offered accept it. At times the burden becomes too much. I reflect on it now and wonder how I got through it. I remember driving along and sobbing my heart out, then quickly drying my eyes and just getting on with work.
My Mum died last 12yrs ago, and I still feel so sad over what her and my Dad went through. Lean on your friends, let people help. Sending you big hugs. X

Carpediem15 · 08/11/2023 11:39

Quite honestly whilst it is all going on that feeling never goes away - imo. I am going through it with my husband who also has Parkinsons and my emotions are all over the place, anger, sadness and frustration each and every day.
I go for a walk and just have a melt down in the park.
It is very hard to keep my mouth shut and have words with our son in the past but now have to go out doors to do it or I would explode some days (like this morning).
Take the advice from the post above and never say no to help.

ExplodingSmittens · 09/11/2023 07:50

Totally agree with the two PP. have you thought of referring yourself for Talking Therapy too?

Just knowing that you are doing what you can for your DF might be some comfort too Flowers

Leeds3 · 09/11/2023 10:57

Don't really know what to suggest as I feel very similar to what you've described. In my area there is a "cafe" at a church for those living with dementia/alzheimers and their carers. I don't think my DM would engage but I wonder if being able to speak to others in the same boat would help me.
Is there anything similar in your area that you could access?

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