The impossible question...

[sleepwouldbenice]

My mum has had gradual
dementia for a while, only just diagnosed in Jan due to reluctance, covid etc

She then took a downward turn ironically within a month;, double incontinence, lost in her own home, very confused etc so moved into a care home as my dad couldn't cope

She was originally content there, even if she had no real knowledge of where she was, what was going on, etc. Couldn't speak coherent sentences etc or relate to events like death of a friend . But content

She's slowky become v agitated now, often all day in bed, sometimes refuses food and meds. Moved to an area with more staff, nursing care. Already on mild sedatives

Sorry for the long post and appreciate this is a tough question.

But would you expect her to survive much longer. Her quality of life is non existent, its terrible... I just hate it so much for her and everyone 😒

Thanks

I'm so sorry your experiencing this.
My Nana went on for 6 yard Lille this.

• like this

What type of dementia was she diagnosed with? My mum has Alzheimer's and it is from what I know a gradual progression. She was showing mild signs a decade ago and was diagnosed 5 yrs ago but is still only in residential care and is fully continent, mobile etc.

My dad had mixed dementia including vascular dementia and because this is linked to blood flow to the brain it can have more rapid deteriorations. He was diagnosed a year ago - probably would have been earlier without a pandemic - but relatively quickly started having falls, becoming incontinent and died a couple of months ago.

At the time of your mum's sudden deterioration did she have any medical attention, tests etc? What did the care home say at the time when she deteriorated? Is she otherwise fit and well especially her heart? My dad had heart failure which was listed as his cause of death.

DMIL was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia and lasted 5 years although she did have several chest infections which DFIL kept bloody insisting she was treated for.

I think it would have been much kinder not to have treated her given the level of confusion and distress.

Wow xxx

I have a family friend who I last visited before covid, she was in a terrible state, in bed, didn't know us, she's 96 and still in the same state 5 years later, she's so thin, it's very upsetting to see, i made the difficult decision not to go again, she has no idea and I know she's being well cared for.

Thanks all
It's vascular dementia

Broadly, the life expectancy for someone in advance dementia (where they are bedbound, little communication, not able to feed themselves etc.) is probably around 1-2 years on average.

In practice, I've known some people who have died very quickly after reaching this stage, usually of infections and some who have quietly carried on for a number of years

Do you have something like a RESPECT care plan in place OP and have you discussed things like stopping non essential medications, avoiding hospital admissions and if you would want to give antibiotics if she were to get infections or just treat symptoms / discomfort rather than try to cure anything? I know these can be difficult questions but sometimes thinking about what someone would want, to preserve their life, prioritise comfort or something in-between is really important at this stage.

Thanks for this

We are nearly at the stage of discussing this I think.

Jesus that's a long time. Can't imagine anyone would want it really

My mum declined rapidly and passed away the day they were coming to the care home to assess her for dementia. 💔

However, there were a few ladies in the home who had been there in excess of 10 years. They were so well cared for that they thrived.

Every case is different and I’m sorry you’re going through this x x