Preparing kids to see nan

[Keeley14]

We’ll be visiting my parents for the first time in a little over a year, and my mum’s dementia has progressed quite a bit. And of course the kids are a year older - they’re 3 and 6 now. A year ago the oldest noticed some short term memory misses, but he rolled with it well and mum could still regulate her own emotional responses to her “mistakes” being noticed. Now she can’t. She’s prone to emotional outbursts. We’ve tried to prep them as best we can - a couple conversations and some picture books - but I’m not sure how to really prepare them for changes in personality. Agitation, fear, lashing out. We’ve talked about not correcting or reminding, but I’d love to hear any tips others have for supporting kids. Nan is both kids favourite person in the world.

Id keep it short amd sweet. Can your dp take the kids off for a walk for most of the visit? My kids were very patient, answering the same questions over and over. Im sure yours will be too if you tell them she cant remember stuff.

Children can be incredibly sensitive. My daughter brought her step children to see my mum in the nursing home. We were having a party in the main hall and there were a couple of rooms off the hall with the doors open. DGS (4) smiled at an old man who smiled back and the family said he could come in. He sat and chatted away for ages with the gentleman smiling and laughing while his daughter fed him. Up until DGS spoke to him he had been completely unresponsive all day, refusing to eat, not acknowledging his family at all! We were afraid that the children would be uncomfortable with the dementia residents but they were completely unfazed. Of course it was a bit different because they were only there for an hour and some of the time we were out in the grounds but it was lovely.

Thank you all!

It has been over a year because my parents live in a different country. It’s a long haul flight and six time zones. We used to live closer. I don’t think they’ve seen differences on FaceTime as they get very excited talking at my parents and my parents can hardly get a word in 😂

I think short and sweet bursts is good advice. We’ll be in the same house for a few days, then neighbouring holiday cottages for a week (mum will still be comfortable - they have owned the cottage for decades).