Sorry.. long post!
For the last 18 months or so we've noticed changes in Dad, poor memory, lack of focus, habits changed. For example, MOT was due in May, I had to remind him .. called his garage// said that he'd booked it in twice and each time missed it. This time again I've reminded him that it's overdue, eventually he took it up on Monday but apparently it needed a spare part.. that was days ago.. still no MOT. Each day I ask him, he responds with it's being repaired 'tomorrow'... like when I asked him when he was taking the car for it's MOT - everyday he would reply 'On Monday'.. but he had no idea which Monday. So I'm going to have to call the garage and find out the situation again. He can't hear the phone well if he's outside or in his lounge so if theyve called to tell him to take the car up, he's probably missed their call. That's one issue I'm currently dealing with.
Constantly repeats the same question just minutes after asking. Stopped habits he'd had for years and when mentioned about it, he just says "Did I?" with no concern. Doesn't cook proper meals anymore, though he says he is, but the broccoli in the fridge that's been there a month tells me otherwise! and I'm pretty sure he's not washing himself properly (doesn't smell or anything) but he's not showering (but I know that the shower is broken - but he says it is working..); forgets to pays bills, any paperwork he has to go through he just looks at the paper and shuffles it around not being able to focus, turning it over and over. You get the gist.
Dad lives alone, 81, no family nearby, very isolated. I'm an only child, husband supportive but we live 5 hours away. We've asked him over and over to come and live with us but he refuses. We have mentioned his memory loss but he just says it's old age, or he lets the conversation wash over him, or he gets irritated and refuses to accept/discuss it because 'there's nothing wrong with my memory!'. He absolutely refuses to entertain going to see his GP because again, 'there's nothing wrong with me!' or 'why.. what do you think is wrong with me?!' I can count the times he's gone to his GP in the past on one hand and even for normal things like blood pressure check ups etc, he refuses to go. (I spoke with the GP last year says they can't do anything - has to be Dad's free will to attend.)
We just don't know what to do. I did speak to a professional who said it is unfortunate but it might be a case where something has to happen for any action to be taken. Am I going to have a call saying Dad's been found in the shop and doesn't know how to get home? He has very few friends so I don't even know who to reach out to should anything happen. I don't want to tell people behind his back, oh Dad maybe has dementia - 'could you call me if..' I don't want people thinking he's losing his marbles and treating him any differently - he's not stupid and still manages his daily routine. This is the thing. His daily routine - if it's not interrupted he manages everything fine, but introduce something new and he finds it difficult to cope with it. His physical health is fantastic. However one day he may forget to eat, or feed the cat etc.
But I just don't know how to deal with Dad currently if he has start of dementia.. We just daren't mention anything to him about his memory, can't discuss any future plans with him because the next day the whole conversation has been forgotten - it's like Groundhog Day.
Any suggestions or advice please?