Dad now getting aggressive…

[SpinWash]

My Dad has vascular dementia and been in a residential care home for the last six months. I heard this morning he may need to be moved to somewhere who are better equipped to deal with him as he’s started kicking, punching, spitting and swearing at staff. Unfortunately it is now happening every time he’s approached for personal care.

Mental health will be assessing him early next month so what happens next and how will the care differ? Also will the cost of care be higher?

Im really worrying how a new placement will cope given what I’ve been told this morning.

My dad has vascular dementia too, he became incredibly aggressive at home and was sectioned, he is in a MH unit specifically for dementia, he has been there since January and at a meeting we were told he's a model patient and they wished they were all as easy to deal with. A couple weeks later he swung for a couple of the nurses with his walking stick! There was talk recently of him being moved to a home (but he was previously rejected by 9 homes before sectioning because of aggressive behaviour) but last week they sectioned him under Section 3 MH act because he was refusing meds and becoming aggressive again.

I had to break it to him last night he's sectioned again.

My MIL is prone to violent episodes, was under section in a MHU for several months, and is now in a specialist nursing home. The 'nicer' ones wouldn't consider her, so while there's 24 hour nursing care, it's actually cheaper than the local average. That probably depends on local factors, but it's not necessarily more expensive. We only pay a top-up, because she qualifies for Section 117 aftercare. The top-up was entirely our choice for a room we felt met her needs better than the basic one.
There's still a clause in the contract saying that residents can be asked to leave for 'behavioural' reasons, but I've seen residents in quite scary encounters with staff, and they're still there. There's nowhere really to go apart from back to hospital.
@Tara336 , I'm sorry about your dad. That must have been hard for you. At least with MIL she had no real understanding about the process.

@DahliaMacNamara thank you, he took it better then expected tbh, but I think I was very lucky as he is very "with it" at the moment so I was able to explain why he's sectioned again and what he needs to do to get brownie points and into a care home. On the same day as I had the call re DF being sectioned again I had the SW calling to chase the forms re financial assessment. I have dealt with some fabulous people during the last few months and some not so great, she is definitely the latter! I have had to point out that any delays have been down to her not filing paperwork and in all of this I am watching my DF fade away.

How are things with your DF now @SpinWash?

Hi @SiouxsieSiouxStiletto

Unfortunately just the same. Mental Health will be coming out to the home this Wednesday…I’m dreading it if I’m honest. My mum was upset when I told her he may have to be moved but will just have to wait and see what they recommend. We visited earlier today and I felt his memory had declined even further. Dementia is such a cruel disease.

Thank you so much for asking. I’ll update when I know a bit more.

It really is cruel isn't it. I think you need to do lots of reassurance with your DM that he's just being moved into more suitable care with a higher staff to patient ratio.

Hope you are getting some time to look after yourself too