How to deal with parent who is in denial as to the extent of their AZ?

[AZissocruel]

I am really struggling coping with my mother's complete denial of her diagnosis of Alzheimer's.

She functions reasonably well on a daily basis although her short term memory is shot and she asks a hell of a lot of repetitive questions. I know it is only going to get worse.

The reason she gets by is because I live with her and 'oversee' everything (eg - finances, medical appointments, food shopping,...). However she is resentful of my help and sees me as taking over from her when in reality I am trying to protect her.

She still has her driving licence (renewed annually after medical) but I worry about her driving (in case she clips another car or has an accident). Thankfully she rarely drives these days.

Whenever I take her anywhere, I have to make a mental notes of what she takes with her otherwise she will put her coat or handbag down and forget it.

And I am really struggling with the constant repeated questions when I am trying to work.

I could go on. I think a lot of my frustration is down to my relationship with her - she is a very negative person who obsesses about her ailments and gets very passive aggressive if I dare to have a life (she resents certain friends without reason to do so).

I totally understand that it is scary for her having to acknowledge her diagnosis but she is adamant that she just has age related memory loss only.

Any words of wisdom would be appreciated.

Thanks

Hi that sounds really tough but v hard for you too. I’d urge you to really think about how much you want to/ actually can take on in terms of caring as it’s all consuming. Maybe try to get some steps in place now to be set up for when it gets worse? for her and to keep your sanity and life? And do you want to be her cater in a decade?

some practical things you could do if money allows is get cleaner / carer so she gets to trust someone else ( might be benefits can help), write to doctor to raise concerns and maybe look at social services assessment- she might take from other people- tho getting her there will involve lies “check up”, and they mask stuff so appears ok.

there’s some great threads on here under elderly parents , and also look at Alzheimer’s society chat board which is brilliant on practical ideas . There’s also bound to be others who live with parents in same situation so be more help than I can as was never close to mine who is now in care home

Good luck