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Dementia and Alzheimer's

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Original poster

Mother's Day help please

16 replies

Hopeful16 · 25/02/2023 08:22

My DM has recently been diagnosed with Dementia and Alzheimer's and has gone downhill memory-wise quite quickly this year.

I'm really struggling with ideas for Mother's Day gifts. I want to make sure that she feels special but not sure how to do it at the moment.

A few details, her mobility is very poor so she wears 'comfy' clothes of which she has loads. This also means that apart from the regular places we visit she doesn't have hobbies or pastimes. She is off food at the moment although would happily sit and eat chocolate forever, something that we're trying to limit a little as this does stop her eating anything else at all. My brother will also do the flowers in abundance gift.

I'm struggling generally with the changes in her and the changes in our 'roles' as we no longer really have the mother-daughter (best of friends) relationship that we had. They (DM and DF) will come to us for the afternoon and for a meal as they do that every Sunday anyway). Can anyone please suggest a gift?

OP posts:

Tintackedsea · 25/02/2023 09:10

Not sure what you want to spend but my mother loves her digital photo frame. We got it for her at Christmas and it is just lovely.

GoldilockMom · 25/02/2023 09:11

That’s a great idea above.

What about some nice soaps and perfume?

feelingrubbish2023 · 25/02/2023 09:13

A photo book with names underneath the pictures, maybe not to make it so obvious you could do Jack and Jill at Windsor castle type captions.

BevMarsh · 25/02/2023 09:16

Definitely a photo gift.
Photo book / photo throw or cushion

Changingnametime · 25/02/2023 09:16

Do you normally give gifts on Mother’s Day? I can see if you normally do, maybe it’s nice to carry on. Would your mum
mind if you didn’t get her a gift? To be honest, I have never heard of Mother’s Day gifts and it seems an unusual tradition to start.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 25/02/2023 09:37

My mum loves her photo blankets. She has two that we bought a couple of years apart and in that time the quality of the photo printing increased and the price decreased. The pictures, particularly on the second one, are huge which helps with her failing eyesight and when she was more with it they were a useful conversation starter with carers as well.

Original poster

Hopeful16 · 25/02/2023 09:42

Thank you - some lovely ideas here.

At the moment, she does recognise everyone but is confused about where she is and when it is. We have bought her a digital frame before but she just turns it off. 🤣

The blanket could work. Nice toiletries would probably not get used as my DF usually helps her wash/ shower and it wouldn't occur to him to use them.

We do give gifts for Mother's Day- I didn't realise that this was not the norm. 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:

Original poster

Hopeful16 · 25/02/2023 09:46

Just to give a little bit more context, previous years (even up to last year) I would have bought an experience like afternoon tea out or a nice top for when she went out with her lady friends. Things that are different/ difficult now and she wouldn't understand.

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IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 25/02/2023 09:48

I have always bought my mum something for Mother's Day - and my great aunt when she was alive. My mum is in a nursing home now and her cognition and eyesight seem to deteriorate day by day. I won't be able to visit her on Mother's Day but I will probably take her a nice scarf or nightdress and a balloon and maybe a giant card from the Card Factory - anything that she might be able to see!

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 25/02/2023 14:26

I second photo gifts. My mum had photo cushions which she really liked.

Adult colouring books were another hit

PritiPatelsMaker · 25/02/2023 15:40

Did she have pets at all? DMIL had one of those weighted cuddly cat toys that are designed for Dementia sufferers.

Original poster

Hopeful16 · 25/02/2023 15:48

@AccidentallyRunToWindsor unfortunately her motor skills wouldn't enable colouring - although I do find it very therapeutic personally.

OP posts:

Original poster

Hopeful16 · 25/02/2023 15:48

@PritiPatelsMaker no pets for a long time.

OP posts:

Original poster

Hopeful16 · 25/02/2023 15:50

@IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere my great aunt was fascinated my helium balloons - she would sit and talk to one we took her as if it were a friend. She didn't have dementia just absolutely loved it 🥰

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DuvetDownn · 05/03/2023 20:30

When my DM was at this stage with dementia she loved a handbag I bought her. I think it made her feel feminine and like it was the old days. She also likes perfume, even just one from Lidl seems to do the trick. Photos enlarged are also a good bet, I had loads done of when I was a baby and toddler and she loves them.

HeddaGarbled · 17/03/2023 20:26

Big successes for my mum recently have been a fiddle muff and a velour cape/throw.

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