Fed Up Of This

[sotiredofthisnow]

My Mother has Alzhiemer's and was diagnosed about a year and a half ago. I arrange all the care and repairs to her house etc.

I had spoken to the GP and the memory nurse about my Mother's weight as she is underweight. She is weighed each month but hasn't dramatically lost any during the last couple of months:

There doesn't seem to be any physical cause for the weight loss. I encourage her to eat a good breakfast. The carers give her a snack or lunch and there are plenty of sweet foods to eat in the house. A family member encourages her to eat an evening meal but she doesn't have much of an appetite. The carer has tried to get her to have nutrition drinks.

I've explained that an additional Carer in the evenings might not work in getting her to eat more for various reasons.

The memory nurse has still contacted social services about this saying she is concerned about my Mother. This has been done despite talk of a best interest meeting.

I'm so fed up of all this. It's basically a box ticking exercise to cover her back. I've really had enough of having to take on all this responsibility. I suffer from anxiety and insomnia and all this is making me worse.

I know I sound awful and I do want the best for my parent but at the end of the day it's been rubbish parenting and other family members don't help or make excuses not to.

I suppose I just want to vent. I sometimes think about moving away as this has all been so full on for three years.

[Borntobeamum]

Step back a little.
mid your mum has food provided and chooses not to eat, so be it.

My Dm was in a care home and very much like your mum. Chocolate raisins would be consumed all day but the tasty means I supplemented were untouched.

Dm passed away a month ago and the manager sat with mum and I the last day of her life and explained eating was a social event for mum. Eating out was a pleasure for my parents and after DF passed away, mum went into care. Eating was a non event for her. She’d pass food to other residents or put it in her handbag.

I was sending food for my benefit.

I hope this make sense.

Anyway, sending hugs. It’s so hard.

[Sunriseinwonderland]

People with dementia do stop eating. It's part of the illness.

[sotiredofthisnow]

Thanks for your comments. It all seems overwhelming.

[PritiPatelsMaker]

@sotiredofthisnow

Thanks for your comments. It all seems overwhelming.

Are you getting any help? If you haven't already you might want to join your local Carer's Support Group.

Having some Counselling might help you as well

[Tara336]

My DF is now in a home, always been a fussy eater but worse since dementia we were taking in treats to try and get him to eat but the home asked us to stop so we did. They then said hes not eating are you sneaking in food (we are not) he just hates the food there and has lost his appetite. I took some treats again the other day and although favourites he wasn't interest and ate 1 biscuit when before he'd eat loads on one sitting. Unfair Dementia does cause loss of appetite and my DF is quite far down the road with it now.

[sotiredofthisnow]

I've had some counselling and will sign up to some more today. I looked into going to a carers group in my area but I was unable to get time off work.

[sotiredofthisnow]

@Borntobeamum - thank you. I am trying to take a bit of a step back. I tend to overthink and worry about things and I get bouts of depression and anxiety.

[Theunamedcat]

What does the memory nurse think social services will do that everyone else hasn't?

Let them come in they will see your doing everything already

[sotiredofthisnow]

I think they want to make sure that some more care is in place to make sure my parent will eat a good meal or to discuss this. I'm not sure it will work.

[galliton]

Another issue can be that tastebuds decline as people get older and so they need stronger and more sweeter foods. My dad had Alzheimer's and we had this with him, although, it is correct, as others have said that weight loss does occur with the illness as well.

[Thighdentitycrisis]

My mum has Alzheimer’s and has lost a lot of weight. She now eats tons of chocolate but also still enjoys her meals especially when eating with others. We are lucky that she will take the protein shakes prescribed. Her favourite thing to do when we visit is go out to lunch.

The nurse and Social care just have to do their jobs and will probably come home to visit and see that she is not being neglected.