Knackered and need space…

[BlueWellingtons]

My Step dad has dementia and went in a home a few months ago. My mum hurt her back around the same time and last month was diagnosed with heart failure.
All during this time me and my partner had been calling down after work for about an hour (we live a ten minute drive away) and I spend Saturday and Sunday morning with her to provide company. Her brother and sister live 5 hours away and they speak twice a week on the phone. No other family. I’m struggling to find time to do my own thing but feel guilty if I say something.
Am I being unfair if I do, then I worry if something happens.
Im so conflicted. Has anyone else gone through this?

I know you feel guilty but this could literally go on for years.

My DFs M had a stroke and my DF was doing very similar to you. With a lot of encouragement from us she's gradually dropped how much she sleeps her M. Last week it was 5 years since the stroke. 5 years is a long time to give up every evening and weekend.

How is she coping with doing things like getting meals, cleaning and looking after herself?

How are things now @BlueWellingtons?

Hi @PritiPatelsMaker; I went down with a bad stomach bug shortly after and wasn’t able to do anything. Since then it gave me an opportunity to say how difficult I had been finding things. My mother was very understanding and we’ve managed to not go down quite as often as we did. It was becoming all so consuming for me and she is able to do quite a lot for herself as it is. She’s a little under the weather today so my partner is going to drop some cooked food off for her later and I said I’d call her for a chat tomorrow after work.
Your point about it could go on for years made me really think how I could continue to do this. We both work full time (me 30 hours) and it can be very restricting when you need to do other things. I’m pleased to hear you were able to work things well with encouragement.